A quote from a filum series called The Tenth Kingdom. A local yokel has just done something silly. One of the heroes of the plot says to him, “You’re a complete idiot!”
The local bridles and looks very upset, then replies, “If only!
Now my father, he were a complete idiot. I’m only a half-wit.”
Ah well, it wasn’t just any old drill you know. This was a SDS hammer drill, and I fitted a long hole that went right through the wall at the front of the house, intentional like.
My Lovely Cousin is quite happy for me to get my big boys toys out whenever I need them, except my arc-welder which I am banned from using, (but that’s for health reasons.)
Mind you, she has come to expect perfection from me when I get my tools out, but alas I have made a rod for my own back. Well I’ve got an anvil and a big hammer you see so it wasn’t that dicky-fult.
I now dread hearing the dreaded wurds when she utters them …
I’ve had an idea, or
I’ve been thinking, or
Why don’t we?
It inevitably means another job has been added to my long list of jobs to be jobbed, and the new job is always added at the top of the list of jobs to be jobbed. Consequently I then get told off for not finishing jobs lower down the list of jobs to be jobbed because the new job at the top of the list of jobs to be jobbed is of course a higher priority than the rest of the jobs on the list of jobs to be jobbed. sigh
I love her to bits though.
I have just crumbled by the way.
Right, there is just time for me to take my ankle grinder (that’s not a spilling mastike, as anyone who has used one will know) to a pole before the dark arrives to cleanse the light.
The weather will change as soon as I have cut the pole off at its knees.
Good grief PUGGY, we agree on something. I was desiccated when I discovered the great deception FATHER CHRISTMAS.
Do folk still perpetrate this out of date urban myth?
Is it right to encourage children to welcome a fat unshaven old man into their bedroom & accept gifts from him, my case rests
Remember that old Marx Brothers film when Chico was asked to fill in the sanity clause in his contract? “Ha! you canno fool me mister, everybody know there is no sanity claus”
I was watching Adam Faith in the film “What a Whopper” last night, what a terrible film, but he wasn’t a bad actor in his later years.
Did you know that when Adam Faith Died of a heart attack in 2003 his last words were, and I kid you not “Channel 5 is all shit isn’t it? Christ the crap they put on there, it’s a waste of space”
Strange dying words don’t you think.
2017, 14 years on and it hasn’t changed a bit, you were on the ball there Adam.
I always preferred him to Cliff Richard when I was a teenager, he was more down to earth, Cliff always struck me as a bit aloof.
cliff - he was a plucker tryin to imitate elvis - one puff from elvis and he would have blown away. trouble with adam faith was he couldn’t hold a note!
there was only one group that could take down elvis and it wasn’t the rolling stones - no not the rubber lips!!
I was chattin to the lado last night and he was explaining that the grandkids were always askin him about snow - they have never experienced it only seen it on the fillums - he wants to take them to UK and let them experience it. then we chatted about the miracle of snow annd the first fall of the winter and the magic of it all - ahhhh!!
Ok, there’s Birds in here now, as well as Blokes, that is Ok, provided they act like blokes, if I remember right, we don’t do Politics, or Female Emancipation.
Jem can you pull this toerag into line - who makes the rules if any around here - I thought it was the mods!!
ladies ignore him he’s from warwickshire and that says it all
I’ve told ya spittie go and play with ya circular saw and get some sparks flying up and around ya nether regions Yauw ! Ow! yauw! - he just loves the buzz does our cuzz
When I go out with the wife and her sisters they all drink from pint glasses, it makes sense because two half glasses costs a fair bit more plus the fact that you don’t have to wait for two half pint glasses of Guinness to settle, they don’t look out of place because it ain’t the Ritz and most of the other women are using pint glasses.
Now putting the shoe on the other foot, to see a full grown man drinking a half pint is very unusual over here, I remember a barman saying to a chap who came in and asked for a half pint of Guinness, the barman looked at him and said ’Sorry Sir but we don’t serve half pints’ ‘Why’s that?’ ‘Because it takes too long to wash the lipstick off the glasses’ He was pulling his leg of course.
A proton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint, the barman puts it in front of him and the proton says how much is that, “For you, no charge”
He finishes his pint and goes outside then comes back into the bar again “Excuse me barman, but did I leave my wallet in here?” “No” “Are you sure?” “I’m positive”
Then he walks back out and collides into a bus.
A proton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint, the barman puts it in front of him and the proton says how much is that, “For you, no charge”
He finishes his pint and goes outside then comes back into the bar again “Excuse me barman, but did I leave my wallet in here?” “No” “Are you sure?” “I’m positive”
Then he walks back out and collides into a bus.
nice one Jem ya definitely showing positive! that’ll be no charge ++
you meant “does it arc” - yes I meant “does it arc” “does it arc” “does it arc”
“does it arc” this could arc on for ever or maybe is that the ark? the ark that arked all arks?? or hark I see a arc upon the ark?
