What was that bible story about the needle passing through the eye of the Camel RJ and the one about the fishes eating all the loaves, I used to know them all when I was young.
I remember a film with John Wayne in it, forget the name of it, set in Africa and he actually rode an unbricked Camel, very dangerous as you well know Gummy, anyway he says to his partner “Would you be kind enough to get yer ass offa that Camel and get the goats rounded up” cowboys rounding up goats, just don’t seem right does it.:shock:
I believe they have the odd Camel in Australia, odd that, how did they get there from Africa? was it the assisted passage scheme, ten pound Camels. 
Did I ever tell you I was on me way there in 1969, all the formalities finished and only the traveling times to be arranged, they were actually looking for goldsmiths back then, great money to be had. Then Phyllis’s father passed away suddenly and she refused to leave her mother on her own, so that was the end of that. I went along with her decision, I think women always know best where young children are concerned, our two were only babies really, so I wouldn’t argue with that.
Strange how sudden happenings can change you and your families entire future, if we had went I would be a fully fledged Australian by now, I’d have millions of them bank of toyland dollars they use for money over there and be talking with a twang like you, but would I be as happy as I am now, that is the question.
Talking about female characteristics in men, It is said that every man has a female side, I have checked meself out many times (not out of the asylum, before that Spitty fella spots that and sticks his shovel and grinder in) and I still can’t find anything female about me, barring the fact that I have very soft skin, a hairless chest, an unwrinkled arse, and a kind nature, I am definitely not the romantic candles and roses type, you come out with me for a pint and you take your chances, who knows she might get lucky and I might throw in a cheese sandwich with mustard, see. I’m generous too.
A house divided? I’m not sure Sweetie but I think the origin of that may have something to do with politics, as in the house of commons on decisions of serious national importance, maybe like the present leaving the EC thing, I’m not political in any sense but they sure look divided to me.
Then of course you have can have a family house and contents being left to the children, they all want their equal divvy, but no matter how fairly it’s done you will always get one of them to start a row over it, happens all the time “I only wanted Mummy’s diamond necklace and her solitaire ring, but Rita got it instead” etc…
You lot do make me laugh.
Fruity is perfec for this thread.
I will go away and think of some nonsense, then come back and post it.
Jem I think you were spot on, over the proverb
I disagree Sweetie. This is the origin of the expression, a house divided.
well ya all missed out the old proverb that “it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a bad man pass through into heaven” or words to that effect
yes I know one or two Afghan men who come from a long lineage of Afghan camel drivers who used to lay the wooden planks to lay down the railway tracks like the old ghan!
you must have heard the old story of the ancient way of neutering a camel with two brick either side of their balls that were clapped quickly and surely - the question was “does it hurt” all together now??
Only if you trap your thumbs between the bricks.
I have nothing to add to the mayhem today
So I’ll skip and hop along on homewards way
I used to write sensible stuff
But Gummy said “Bob that’s quite enough”
Jem is our uncrowned leader.
Full of kindness , wit & charm
He is our ideas feeder
conflicts he disarms
Spitty has a polished intellect
WE never know what he’ll utter next
He comes from a place called Warwick
Spends his evenings drinking Gin And Tonic**
Pug lives in a world of his own
has a tag, emblazoned POLYMATH
Brainy , very, he knows & groans
Is focussed,and heads them off at the pass.
I don’t think I’ll do anymore until next week
Ah, bless you all, this is a lovely thread.
I really liked Fruity’s Vid.
Old proverbs really are fun.
But I am not about to change the direction of this thread.
Hold on, does it have a direction - I need a map.
I just wanted to add that I often call Fruity Josephine, I will let you all mull over that.
Not tonight, I suppose.
We can’t pull the wool over your Thighs.
he’s got one loose in the top paddock!
That made me laugh:-D
It is a little known fact that Dick Emery used to be an all-in wrestler before becoming a TV star.
By the way gummybear, that hurt. whimper
Precisely so.
Well it’s been a wonder-bra day by here a-day.
I started by waking up. That’s always a good start to any day.
Having attended to my toilet. (Imagine similar images to those classical posh pics of a laddie called Venus.)
It’s best you imagine them images -cause the real ones will curdle milk.
Mind you, if it’s clotted cream you want, then don’t bother to look away now.
Next, I drilled a whole in a wall. It had it coming twit. There’s nothing like the good thrill of a drill in your hand in the morning. I have to be careful though and make sure drills and thrills are kept to my right side away from my pacemaker.
I always worry that if I am not careful, my neighbour will complain that my device will cause interference on his TV. 
This avo I moved Millie from one seat to another. It was very sausagefying.
Tonight I have drunked beer and watched England beat Oz at the toughest team sport in the world.
Overhaul, it has bean a goodly day.
you mean womens cricket??
having started off as a young lad in UK drinking warm beer I am now addicted to ice cold beer - strangely enough you don’t get the flavor much but in these top end climes it’s essential.
what needs to happen is the immersion of a 1.125 litre bottle of homemade beer into the freezer compartment for at least 1 hr - then a long steiner glass filled with ice and then filled with ice cold beer - as I said it kills the flavor but hell it quenches the thirst again and again and again - the flavor seems to kick in somewhere just behind the numbed brain cells!
the only thing missing is a damned good cuban cigar but they are damned hard to get in this part of OZ or in OZ at all the anti-smoking brigade are always watching and the smoking crusade is being mortally wounded
any cigars disguised as toblerone bars would be gratefully received for xmas - ta
Gummy, is the glass full of Ice or Beer? If it were me, I’d freeze the beer in the ice cube former, put it in the glass, then top it up with more beer, if ya did that, them numbed Brian Cells would soon be functioning again.
eere bye gum laddie we don’ t do fancy things down 'ere in the antipodeas - just chuck in the ice and then the beer - we’re lucky ta get ice down 'ere!!
Fruitcake, you are as barmy as the rest of us, welcome (you too Sweetie pie)
It is good to be barmy.
I might bring another girl to this thread. I have one in mind.
I dunno why but I was tinking of a Sinatra song.
I was still at school at seventeen, what were any of you doing?
Here is the toon.
Be careful with that drill Fruity lad, they can become addictive, once you have the power in your hand you want to drill everything in sight, holes all over the place, you just can’t stop, my missus locks away my Black & Decker whenever it ends up in the house “There’ll be no holes drilled here by amateur drillers, you stick to you own game sunny jim”
Amateur drillers? she says it with such authority you’d swear you were going to drilling for oil.;-)
There was once an old friend of mine who married a girl by the name of Josephine, she was a terror. Not long after they were married she came up to the local at lunch time one Saturday when he forgot to go home, God help him he was enjoying the craic, he worked very hard and seldom got out, she had his dinner covered with a large tea towel, she plonked the steaming hot plate of corned beef, cabbage, and mashed potatoes in front of him at our table “Eat that, and don’t expect any supper when you come home, I’ll be off with the girls having a night out, see ya in the morning if your lucky” then stormed out. I kid you not, a real brazen hussy.
Well you’d want to see yermans face, you could light a cigarette off it. Old regular Mickser Devlin looks at the knife and fork beside the meal then smiles at yerman then he quotes Josey Wales “Well are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?”
Ever since that day all the lads called her Josey Wales, needless to say the marriage didn’t last long, I believe Josey is somewhere in Canada now, probably breaking in Moose on a ranch, she was one tough bird I can tell you.
Here’s a thought, who breaks in the Reindeers for Santa?
Jem,you DO realise we childers were duped,coz Santa’s reindeer [Rangifer tarandus,to them wot’s in the know] have antlers…on Christmas Eve…which is a month AFTER the males shed their antlers…hmmm?
Yuss,itstroo-them danged reindeer were all GURLIES! [which explains why it took all night to do a two-hour job] Only the female gurly-style reindeer even consider such anachronous [yeah,I said it!] items of apparel when navigating betwixt and between telephone wires,pylons,power-lines and satellite dishes on rooftops…huh…AZZIF! Right…umm…I’ll just go puch a chicken…carry on…