ii got to thinking recently about all the great actors who tried to sing and all the good singers who tried to act?
John Wayne ;Gregory Peck ;Humphrey Bogart; Liz Taylor; Anthony Hopkins; you get the idea and then there were the singers who thought they could act - Elvis must have been the biggest flop - followed by cliff richards and then rubber lips mick jagger and the beatles of course;; frank sinatra - there were a few exceptions like deano who could do both well it would seem it’s best that they stick to what they are best at but they never learn do they,
I am a great fan of Dean Martin Gummy, probably would have been a fan of Dean Swift had I been around in his time, I believe he was a great singer at dinner parties, as was James Joyce.
I had to laugh when I read what the Dean said to one lady, he was in deep thought at the table after dinner and the woman opposite him said “A penny for your thoughts Dean?” He looked at her with a frown “They’re not worth a farthing my dear… I was thinking of you.
Speaking of chancer singers, what did you make of Lee Marvin singing “I was born under a wandering star” it made number 1, if that could make no.1 then there’s hope for us all.
Don’t get me wrong I love his acting, but his singing leaves an awful lot to be desired.
Well that’s all the work wrapped up for this year, greased all me tools, covered all me little machines, and washed me hands of work, the shed is now well and truly locked up for the rest of the Winter.
On Wednesday I go to collect the fruits of my labour and a jolly good piss up with some of my old workmates is on the cards, meanwhile I’m getting into training for it by sprawling meself out in the armchair by the fire and lowering a few glasses of port, cheers to ye all!
Toofings-bofe of witch arrrh uninrestinn butchool gettum ennyway…
1/muy spelchekkur’s stopt wurkinn
anne
2/Eye’m mannergin wivvartitt.
Sew,moovin on-I once drove Adam Faith’s Rolls Royce home f’rim wenee got a tad ott in the village pub v closta where my sister usta live.
They were naybuhs like ennywun else-AF didn’t do the “Juno hoo Iyam?” thing. A decent cove-respec’.
ANORLSO…speekin ov actors hoo tryta sing-ennywunn remebmer Telly Savalas’s attempt to sing ‘If’??? Memrable-thassorl I’m sain…
Oh-an’ Jem - I’m now stuck wivva nimmage of you ‘greasing yer tool’!!!
Atishoo ! begin ya pardin - must be some of that grease splashin about.
reminds me true story: I was on observatory practice once at a sex clinic [can’t remember the official name no more!] when a huge six foot six west indian guy comes in worried about what he might have picked up from ‘won of may womans’
OK says the head nurse get it out let’s have a look -the west indian just stands there dumbfounded
get it out says the nurse - ya cock - I need to inspect it
well mon we all nearly fainted it was a monster
where’s the discharge says the nurse and it was then it started:
de mon started shakin it all aboot and there was discharge flying everywhere
stop stop says the nurse - I only wanted a drop for this slide - you’ve now infected the whole bloody clinic. we spent the rest of the morning cleaning and disinfecting!! true cross me heart and I am still alive!!
Remember when we all had to write compositions in school? 90% of them were entitled “My Dog” I never actually got round to writing a my dog one, I think my first one was “Our Street”
So to set the record straight here’s my ‘my dog’ contribution, albeit 60 years late.
My Dog was running a temperature and I didn’t know what to do
He was walking funny on his feet and missed a step or two
The wife was worried and wanted to take him to the Vet
I put an Aspro in his sausage, but he hasn’t got better yet
He’s just a common bowler, no manners or finesse
Likes his plate of sausages with a saucer of Guin ness
But wait! he’s getting out of his basket and starting to wander round
His legs are very short and his arse is not far from the ground
Now he’s looking up at me and his tail begins to wag
Is he looking for a drink or would he prefer a fag?
Yes he’s much more perky and coming back to himself
I’ll go and tell the wife, she’s in the kitchen washing delph
“Put down those dishes and fret no more my dear
Rocky is grand now, he’s sitting in the parlour drinking all me beer”
Come on now scribblers, lets all hear about your dog, if you haven’t got one pretend you have.;-)
it’s one miserable wet cloudy damp day in Dublin today.
Only one day after all me work is finished and I’m bored stiff, the TV is really crap in the afternoon, they must think we are all ga ga with all the regular repeats, it’s enough to drive a saint to drink just to get out and away from it all, they keep showing the same stuff over and over again, even the same films are repeated three and four times in the same week, and don’t get me going about those bloody cooking shows, and they wonder why the country has an obesity problem, are they thick or what.
Ah feck this, I’m off out for a bit of craic up in the local, see ya later maybe.;-)
I have taken to listening to our local radio - Radio National OZ - a practice I was long brought up on back in old blighty - fascinating indepth science talks etc etc and I can do me knitting at the same time without lookin up - I watch very little tv now but do have me collection of dvd’s at the ready - so I am surrounded by me console of laptop/TV/DVD/Radio and am happy as a pig in shit - and then there is the patio during the cooler moments 6am and 6pm are ideal and then there are the dogs to talk to/feed and generally social with - they pretend to like me but they just hang around for food but I do enjoy the odd lick or two - them lickin me that is - never fancied the backend of a dog!
Our eldest dog may not make it this xmas she has become totally deaf ; somewhat blind and plain stupid but we are all reluctant to “put her down” who wants to swing a pick axe just before xmas?
the large dane like one vacillates between different abodes on the estate and has the dumbness look you could ever encounter “butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth” if only he could get a lump - and the visiting ciao ciao is the forward guard always at the front barking at nothing but scaring all away - the cat rules majestically over all!!
My former dog reproached me in a dream. She was named Katrina, a spayed dachshund with a fat tummy. I had wanted a beagle and my parents told me a dachshund was a beagle with shorter legs. She walked with a wobble and embarrassed me in public. You completely underestimated me, she said in the dream. She was right. I once taught her three tricks in one day—sit, roll over, and play dead—and then lost interest. Why didn’t you say you could talk? I wanted to know. That’s so you, she said. You never asked me, did you?
You’re an honest gentleman RJ, not many of us left.;-)
I needed that break from the house, although it wasn’t much fun in the local, with the Winter upon us once more it’s moaning time again for some of the old lads and lassies, oh me back is killing me, oh me stomach is giving me hell, I think I’m coming down with something, and my favourite from old Johnny Murphy “I can tell yiz one thing for sure lads, this is going to be a very severe Winter, lashings of snow and ice, I always know once me aul leg starts acting up’ Christ he says the same thing every year without fail and he’s never right. Anyway I won 7 euros on the dominos, and feel better having got out for a bit.
Maybe Pug can answer this one, why do they refer to ships as ‘Her’ and ‘She’? Not only ships but publications like newspapers ‘Our sister paper, the Sun carries a column by…’ Indeed I have often heard one of Azz’s other forums referred to as ‘Our sister forum’ why not our brother forum? I thought we wos all equal now, where’s the equality in that I ask yeh.;-)
I’ll try,Jem…tho’ I spex I’ll be shouted down. #sigh#
Y’see;the English word “ship” derives etymologically from a Germanic word,“Schiff” and the Latin word “navis”, which is closely related in meaning,is feminine. Ergo;when ‘schiff’ is used,it’s become ‘ship’ to English speakers and is invariably used in the feminine form-although it has oft been said by seafarers of olden times,that one of the reasons is that ‘she’ [the ship] took a lot of careful handling and attentive maintenance,to get the best out of ‘her’.
However,BECAUSE certain parties took umbrage at the ‘she’ references when speaking of seagoing vessels,since 2002,Lloyds has taken to referring to all-and-any vessel insured by them as ‘it’.
Yup - that’s true. Sad,innit.
If I got the chance to swish my roller around ‘HER’ bottom or ‘IT’S’ bottom,my stiff little roller would be a blur as it caressed HER bottom.
Thanks Pug, very informative indeed.
I’m thinking now that it’s a big demotion from a ‘She’ to an ‘It’ I would sooner go out on a date with a ‘She’ anytime, imagine going out with an ‘IT’ but not realising it was an ‘It’ until you found out the hard way.
Windmills be female as well. They have sails, like ships, not sales like shops.
So are supermarkets female as well I wander?
It’s beer night tonight. I fancy some Germanic Weiss bier. I need to nip out to the garage to get it. I daren’t keep it in the house fridge lest the cheap stuff (bought for visitors) remains untouched whilst the good stuff gets poured in a stew.
When she was in her early teens my Cousin was caught swinging a galleon curtainer of beer around that my Uncle had brewed as she it carried through their lounge. He had to wait another day for it to settle before it could be drunked.
Lovely girl, but her education was lacking where beer was concerned. I still married her though but took the sensible precaution of installing a separate fridge in the garage, beer for the exclusive use of.
She nearly put my very expensive sherry in a trifle once instead of the £5/L Morrison’s own brand as well. It’s not deliberate, but as she doesn’t drink more than two glasses of Canadian Ice Wine per year, she just doesn’t understand the various nuances where alcohol is concerned.
I’m drinking Franziskaner Weissbier tonight, made in a Franciscan Monk Refinery just outside Munich.
I first drank this stuff whilst testing a jet engine at Stuttgart University in the Winter of 1988. Very civilised that, beer on the job.
The engine crew were from Bavaria and didn’t think much of the local beer, so they brought their own.
An awful bunch of blokes, they wouldn’t let me buy any beer for them. I even told them I would claim it back on expenses but they still wouldn’t let me buy any. I’m sure you feel my pain.
