@SilverTabby - oh you would love Pug he loved cats male or female ? that right Jem?
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oops??
just got meself an E scooter - no license needed - fell off twice ; knocked two pensioners over and ran over three cats - it’s so exciting!!
I tell ya wot that Jem fella seems to get up late in the day for his scribbles heh - I bet phyllis won’t let him get near the pc until he has completed all his household chores including garden tidying heh??
yes just heard he’s been curtailed what do they call it in the forces “confined to barracks” not enough attention to his uniform care and badge cleaning?? - didn’t know he had any badges? Well who’s gonna tell all those unbelievable stories of great indian chiefs whats isname and american bygone stars like stan and laurie??
did ya hear the story of the donkey down the pothole?
these guys were scratching their head on how to get the donkey out - should we build a pulley and lever and rope him out - maybe someone should get in and push him out? along came an Irish naavy - and said easy just start diggin another hole and shovel the soil into the donkeys hole - he will shake it off and tread it down and eventually walk right out!! pulleys indeed!
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then there was the story of the six pommie road workers all standing around a rather deep hole with a younger guy in it diggin furiously. A police walked up and asked wots goin on then ear ear ear ear?? - one guy said well he’s digging this gas hole - copper said and what are you lot doin then " well we’re just waiting to see if he can gets out at all"
good morning well it will be soon there !! - just been talkin to Jem and his is recovering quite well and sends us all his good wishes and just get on with scribbling we need more scribbling. Spitfire you can come back now lucylulu has gone and won’t frighten you no more with her curls and whirls and sunshine girls?? well that;s what she told me - want her email??
fruitcake - Jem asked could you lean harder on ya pencil and pad and give us a few more tales which I think will get him out of convalecense quicker ; will sickness ya know ?? some tabby cat here yes? do join in he thinks you are kindred spirits - yes he does get on them a bit!! - and mups dear mups please join in NO NO you do not have to take all ya clothes off!!! does she lads??? - deafening silence there??
well this place certainly feels quite leisurely atm but no one is scribbling but I have invited an old friend of us all who may make a cameo appearance at any time tic toc tic toc?? yes it’s Madame ??? fingy a bob??
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Pencils? No, they don’t allow me to have sharp objects in here.
It’s all wax crayons and cartridge paper you know. The red ones are my favourite. They taste better than all the others put together.
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yes we’ve noticed all that smeared lipstick on ya fruitcake - one of the best clowns I’ve seen in years - any pics - if ya can just run around now and blow a few whistles etc might wake a few of the other 'uns up maybe??
“I tell ya wot that Jem fella seems to get up late in the day for his scribbles heh”
Me get up early?!!!, never was a good- in- the- morning man Gummy, takes at least an hour for me to come round, it’s the vampire bit in me DNA that makes me a creature of the night, besides I noticed it was the early worms who caught caught the naked bird recently, was it a Kiwi?, I don’t know as I wasn’t here, I was tucked up snugly in me bed with me darlin’ wife. Tee hee hee. 
I had a propelling pencil once, much as I tried I couldn’t get used to it, the tip kept breaking off, but as Stan Laurel said “You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead”.
Reading about that terrible incident of the footballer cruelly kicking a defenceless cat, what a hero eh, some of these footballer laddies are losing the run of themselves, I believe another footballer in another club is charged with rape, I’m no football fan, but I remember when they knew how to behave like gentlemen, Sir Stanley Mathews for example.
People had large families in those days, Mrs Watson at the end of our street was football crazy, she had ten sons and wanted to have her own team, but she had to stop at the ten because she had no inside left. 
Now I’m not making light of this by any means, I detest cruelty in any form, but as you know I like a bet on the horses and often do “coincidence” bets, looking at tomorrow’s race cards I noticed there is a horse running in the 3.30 at Kempton tomorrow called “Jumping Cats”, wonder should I have a flutter on it?. Latest betting on it is 5/1. Yes I will, Phyllis has just said to put a fiver on for her as well.
I really did like the Cat Stevens fellow when I was young, then he went all religious and became a monk or something. The firm I worked for when this record came out was called “McDonnell and Sons”, or as we called it “Macker and Sons”.
Strange, when I played it I could see all the faces of my fellow workmates, several who are now no longer with us. Sad that.
well I’ll glow and blow meself down with N.Korean candle - why - the won’t light - designed not too to save energy? they’re putting all their powers in to rockets or was that gems?? I know ya were taking a break Jem but that break was shorter than a stick of Blackpool rock. Talkin of which my long lost cousin from da pool sent me a video back when of him and his Ma and Pa etc big family; havin a day in Blackpool on the beach. I was very gobsmacked cos went there often as a teen and had some fun. There they were sitting on the beach wrapped in the overcoats wind howling and gettin sandblasted across the cheeks. Not the Blackpool I remember I wonder what they did to the weather?
you know Jem I bet Phyllis got so fed up with you under her feet on not on the puter that she said " for god sakes Jem get back in the shed and tellum ya stories again!! there has been an absence of knowledge sharing recently - Uncle vinneys tales come to mind and how the atom could be split by someone and it’s sorta come true with this machine that makes more heat than the sun - my god you’ll all be walkin around with one strapped to ya arm soon -britain has noticed recently that most of the popn are becoming severely sunburnt on their right arms??
hurroo!!
Eeek Can we not mention scary things like clowns, please!
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Jem - if he had done that to one of mine - they would not find enough of him to bury! I am nifty with a scalpel - was taught by an expert! Wouldn’t it be grand now if should introduce his knee caps to a Black and Decker drill!
no violence l politics or nudity on the thread please - this is the " An Garda Siochana speaking? the footballer and cat incidence ? - his career may be ruined or he may just have learned a valuable lesson in life maybe he should be subjected to 2000 taking the knee incidences alone?
someone came up to me the other day on here and asked me can you show me the way to lesleys nibbles : I said "i beg your pardon madame we don’t allow that sorta cahootin to go on around ear ear! oe dear she said well was it “pleasure and quibbles”? look dear I said just sit down for a mo and pull yaself together - that’s when she hit me?? oh well we can’t help all those that wanna dribble at a leisurely?
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Well so much for me horse “Jumping Cats”, it finished 8th from 9 runners, he drifted out in the betting from 5/1 to 25/1, when I saw that I thought one of his legs fell off on the way to the start, as Jack Benny used to say “I’m a generous man, I give a lot of money to sick animals, pity I didn’t know they were sick when I backed them”
I see a black barrister wants to do away with the stupid wigs they wear in the courts, fair play to him, they really do make those wearing them look like loo la’s, I could never understand why they continued with this really comical tradition.
They still use wigs over here too along with the black gown, personally I think it’s a form of intimidation “Look at me!, I’m the law, impartial, infallible in court, and look, even my hair lasts forever!”
Maybe those in the legal profession should have a vote on it, the results would be interesting, my bet is most in favour of keeping the wigs would be all the baldy briefs.
“Louis XIV of France started the trend of men wearing wigs in the 17th century to hide his balding scalp”
And here’s the man himself, ain’t he just beautiful?, in those days the curtains doubled as a huge cloak, his red and grey high heels with knee gathers, just look at them silk stockinged legs, eat yer heart out Foxy. 
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now there’s a man who knew how to get into his knickers heh? problem was underneath all of that stuff they were all quite smelly I understand - didn’t bathe in months? a gang of powder puffs?
sorry to hear you didn’t get a win on the gee gees Jem but if you will try to take advantage of poor dumb animals who’s only vice in life is goin around killin all the bird wild life then what do you expect? jumpin cats indeed - they are only very short distant runners remember?
well the top end as we call it is wet wet and full on monsoons - we need the rain and water but when some of the major highways and often the only highways from one community to another get blocked then we have a problem. they are currently rebuilding railway lines up here in the top end and clearing roads cos we’ve got no groceries!! road houses which are the heart valves of the north are still alive but no one is passing through ; so pubs with no beers and cornflakes for breakie!! but the aussies are a hardy bunch so with a rifle and a dog will always be able to jump a few joeys or three! then it’s slices for breakie and the tail for lunch!
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In days of yore, long wigs they wore
To keep their egos contented
Real hair was used, into wool it was fused
Now they are light, breathable, and vented. (or so I’m told)
The Human Hair Dress.
“Anyone who wants to be wrapped up in human hair may want to try Vietnamese designer Kim Do’s hair dress. It is made from 1 million meters of human hair gathered from 54 different people across Vietnam. Imagine each individual hair put end on end to form a massive piece of material that long! The hair was first dyed and then sewn together to make the dress. The dragon on the front is made from strands of long brown hair.”
Source: Recycle Nation.
Maybe you could have a pair of hairy camouflage shorts make up Gummy, you’ve been to Vietnam haven’t you? 
A friend of mine recently bought an expensive new hairpiece that was made from recycled human hair, it was also ‘breathable’.
When he wore it for the first time in the local last week it looked great on him, very natural, worth every penny we assured him, he was thrilled with the reception he got.
Then he came in late last night with what looked like a withered squirrel torso on his head, what happened we all gasped!
“Well the wife found it lying on the bed the other night and decided to put it safely away in a clean plastic bag, she didn’t realise it was breathable so she accidentally suffocated it.”
I really felt sorry for the poor fella, so beware folks, keep all yer breathable stuff away from plastic bags, they don’t tell you that on the packaging.