Don’t get uppity with me young lady, there are thousands of penguins out there that would love this role. I, your Captain producer, director and writer chose you despite the offers from many penguins of money and sexual favours. My casting couch was bloody awash with feathers. So be a good penguin, behave, you time will come. 
Now I am seriously worried!! 
Nobody is going to be plucking my feathers! 
Did you mention Pirates Cpt VD? tomorrow , best get the cabin ready for such an encounter , fluffing up the pillows as well as keeping score on the batting. No need to have concerns about me ,Cpt , i could be you saving Grace, or even Roger , which ever i chose to be tomorrow …
Ahh there you are cabin girlie person, tonight can you lay out the silk pyjamas and the smoking jacket. A chilled bottle of Pinot and two glasses please. Later sweet cheeks
I had to read that twice 
Avast ye Cpt
I feel an Headache coming on , ow Arrrr, A good dream is better than a bad reality. nod nod 
Headache you say? Have you read your contract? Especially the bit about headaches? You are not here just to fluff my pillows, now get my teddy bear and my story book!
Arrives from my bunk clutching a pencil a tape measure and a Sat Nav, 7 Inch Bluetooth GPS Navigation system…includes Speed Camera Alerts …impressive or what 
So where are we…exactly?
Just outside Birmingham, then we had a crash, the crew hurrah’ed then went awol. Now you have a Bluetooth Navigation System, a velvet smoking jacket and a suspicious penguin.
I can’t fight pirates, btw. Just sayin’
Crash? Are we insured for crashes…wher is my bloody bosun?
Who is your bison? I’ll check around…penguins are good at getting into nooks & crannies, and thats usually where the booze is kept 
I want the know who was bloody driving ?
The Bison was.
You are the captain? You drive…and your crew are in the lounge…lounging
Is this Noah’s Ark now?? 
If you wear a safety helmet and carry an alarm, you would be welcome to come and inspect my Aunt Sally’s shed. Come a.s.a.p. though, as it might fall down tomorrow.
1 Like
Ahhh, ok send me the Cruise Entertainment Officer, we need to organise a party…
How very rustic Mups 
Present and correct Captain - been busy restringing my chair and learning how to play this confounded thing!
