That’s it well done
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Shiver me timbers, how did that happen?
I like the cut of his jib!
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Splice the mainbrace - is that thing safe?
Weigh anchor and swing the lead - steady as she goes!
All hands on deck - it’s past eight bells and there’s swabbing to be done!
Aya Aye Captain - let’s have at the grog!
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I get the impression that it’s already been had at. 
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You may think that - I couldn’t possibly comment! 
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I don’t suppose anyone has weighed the anchor or battened down the hatches? Am I the only bugger working? Where is my bosun?
Log of the Good Ship Lollipop
Day2 , at sea… Long. 21 degrees 41 minutes West. Lat, somewhat North of the Texaco Garage. £1.98 a litre for unleaded
The wind has filled our sails and carries us on apace at some 40 knots avoiding the hazards of the local constabulary and speed cameras, oh this is the life!
I fancy that I am really descended from some great mariner or buccaneer perhaps. I am certainly at home out here on the briny. (Note: Briny, nautical phrase, much used to describe the ‘oggin’) (Note’Oggin’ a much used nautical phrase used to describe the blue bits on a map). (Note: map: The thing that
summer is holding upside down). Much to the dismay of SilverTabby
The crew have settled in well, although I have some concerns about my chief navigator and the new cabin girl.
SUDDENLY!!! ( frightened you there didn’t I ? and that’s why I told you to bring fresh underwear)
Disaster strikes!
A sudden squall from the North East, either Newcastle or Gateshead, has washed away the garden gnomes, and the patio furniture looks somewhat bedraggled despite the valiant efforts of the windscreen wipers. But all is not lost; the crew are in good spirits, the bar in the crew lounge had opened early.
btw (A severe attack of greenfly has infested the roses on our port bow.)
To make matters worse, the garden has sprung a leak and is taking on water fast. This, at least, I can do something about.
Displaying the kind of imagination and initiative that had made heroes out of previous pioneers, I gathered together half a dozen stone slabs and arranged them artistically around the leak to create a water feature very similar to what Charlie Whatshername done in episode 498 of Groundforce. The crew are vastly impressed and shout out a mighty Hurrah! I award myself a naval decoration, (WC and Chain) which is common in circumstances such as these.
I am still confident of success, I know that The Land of the First Shed does exist, and Allah and fair winds permitting we will make landfall soon.
Tomorrows Episode PIRATES!!!
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Have you looked in his chair?
Somebody have a word, she is supposed to with me taking notes, she wouldn’t last long in North Korea
Penguin scuttles forth and proceeds to snap up all the greenfly Yum yum!
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Most noble and esteemed captain, (that was what you told me to call you wasn’t it), I have, as instructed, been tidying up my shed in readiness for the landing party. It now looks like this.
Am wondering if such an open plan, well ventilated shed, (with optional broken bird bath) has a special name.
I suspect my shed of sheds is a cousin of the Tardis, so I await the arrival of David Tenant.
You do not appear in this tale of derring do until episode 4 ish you are meant to be a surprise, you save the Captain and crew from a fate worse than death, now be a good penguin and go and hide in the heads till I need you you…
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Aye aye, sorry Cap’n 
Call it the captain’s mess. Or even just the mess.
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I like it the way it is Mav it has a certain ambience, have you tried flogging it on eBay?
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Have you seen my bosun?
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Oh I see… talking to the penguin now you want something, eh?
Ask me in chapter 4
Sincerely yours,
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