Journey to a Far Land

Dear Friends and fellow adventurers,

Are there no more wilderness left to explore or territories to chart? Are there no more dark corners of the world left to be illuminated?

Where once ancient mapmakers would have inscribed the legend Here be Dragons, their modern counterparts are happily detailing the many public amenities and gift shops within easy reach of the hotel. Is there nowhere in the world where you can’t buy a Big Mac, watch Eastenders or get an Uber?

So does this mean that there are no more adventurers left? No, no it does not…cherubs

Thankfully, the world hasn’t quite run out of challenges yet and there are still those who are prepared to meet them.
Just such a man is Vlad the Inhaler. When a poster challenged Vlad regarding the Rules, Laws and Regulations regarding Shedism he took it upon himself to search out the First Shed (peace and blessings on its name), and show the world the truth. So wearing only a fleece jacket and a pair of sturdy hiking boots he willingly took up the task.
Are you up for an adventure?
Want to join …are your ready for some excitement? There is bugger all on the tell so why not?


Packing as we speak! Shall I bring whisky water? We need to keep hydrated. :potable_water:


Picnic and bedroll already packed, Sir, what time to we leave??

Excellent idea, I have already got some Mintoes and a Word Search book…

Standby for joining instructions

1 Like

May I introduce you to my shed, tis a shed of sheds, a queen amoungst sheds, sadly it has shed some of it’s shedness.

it looked like this until the most recent storm

1 Like

Out bloody standing ship mate, Joining instructions to follow, be prepared it will be early o clock

1 Like

Damn! I l

I have fallen in love with your shed, with your obvious expertise on Sheds and Shedism you will be an ideal candidate, standby for joining instructions which will be delivered to you by a man in a thong and cleft stick

I am ready to report for duty, your Shedness. Walking boots, map, tin whistle and lots of Kendal Mintcake all packed in my rucksack.

Thank you, I wait with breath all abated. I have my bottomless water bucket and pogo stick polished in readiness.

Brilliant, recruiting starts shortly. Standby to Standby

Good thinking, the bucket might come in handy …


Vlad Enterprises are seeking to recruit a number of adventurers for a new venture, to explore and find the home of the very first shed
Warning: there might be some dangerous and explicit scenes and no internet.

The following positions are available. Please indicate which role that you are applying for and your qualifications. Acceptance for the role applied for will only be confirmed after receipt of your blank signed cheque or 1 book of Green Shield Stamps.

The cast and crew of this Saga.

The hero, Captain and chosen one… Position filled…Vlad.

A safari guide loads of lines and heroic stuff … Would suit someone with a shed in disrepair. Position filled…Maver-rick

A cabin girl a few lines and a sex scene with a pirate and the chosen one…Available

A ship’s Navigator, must be good with maps and stuff and have their own ruler. Available

A Squid… not many lines…in fact none, but has a small part in mid Atlantic, Position filled …butterscotch

A tribal chief… One of the main characters. A shedfull (sorry) of lines… Available

A tribal princess… would suit a lady of a certain age who wishes she was 16 … again. Available

A penguin, good part for a character actor who is on the short side, loads of lines, possible Oscar nomination Available

A Carmen Miranda hat, a non-speaking role

A muscular but thick baddie who dies tragically, available

A Shaman, would suit someone into aroma therapy and all that transcendental stuff Position filled …Fat Kev

A cast of thousands… would suit thousands. Available

In tomorrows exciting chapter….We Cast Off

I approve of this kind of thread, and encourage its example to be followed. Meanwhile, I’ll look on in awe. :astonished:

You’ve missed The Chief Cook and Bottle Washer

Please may I apply for the role of A Carmen Miranda hat.

I have been a hat several times before, most noticeably for two years at Bekonscot model village.

I have also substantial experience on balancing on the head of ex King Constantine of Greece, sometimes on one leg, sometimes the other, and often neither.

I notice this is a nonspeaking role, and I am almost exclusively mute.

I believe these qualifications make me uniquely suited to the role.

Too late Squire…please read the above crew list.

Are you applying for the position?

Harbal, I am sure you could add to the tale, feel free to join in at any time…especially when I start to run out of lies and dialogue :grinning:

I can be the squid. Sounds like not much work.

Is there room for me and my Crutches , I can keep up , honestly , A Crutch might come in handy beating back those savages we are bound to meet , :leg: :bone: