Well I know this Alice - if I lost Hubby I would not be on the lookout for sex. In fact, I would not want another relationship and that’s the honest truth, when a partner passes on, its a big difference to losing a partner through divorce.
Hope your partnership always brings you joy xx
Completely agree with that, for me one man has been enough will spend the rest of my life alone hoping the kids come and see me when they have time, and I know he feels the same we fitted together as soon as we met I have been lucky and won’t be able to repeat that so why try ? Just accept it and move on alone.
OK… I can speak from the ACTUAL experience of both… NOT what I THINK I would do.
I was divorced from my 1st husband because he was a womanizer… BUH BYE… I was widowed from my 2nd…
Being divorced was as traumatizing as being widowed… trust me… it’s just different. People seem to sympathize with the widow more… you get more support. HOWEVER… they also expect the widow to wear her widow weeds forever… and if she should DARE to even look for another partner, she falls out of grace really fast…
You can sit by your computer and type out what you THINK you would do in either situation, but until you actually are living it… you have no clue. I never thought I would look for or find another man after my husband died… BUT I did… and I went out and found him… much to the chagrin of my family and friends… I may add. I’m not sorry… I found a great man and a wonderful companion… Everyone should be as lucky… So am I a bad girl? Come on… I’m a smart and lucky girl.
If you have been that lucky then it’s brilliant, but hardy what the original topic was about, the spread of disease by bed hopping is, I thought what we had started with. And yes I do judge people who do that, I judge them as slightly insane as the risks to body and mind are so great they have to be mad to be doing it.
I agree. You might never think you want to meet someone else. You just can’t predict how you will feel until you are in that position.
I also think that if you lose your partner and say you won’t ever be with anyone else, it does not mean you loved them anymore than other people do with theirs. Surely the beloved person you lost would want you to be happy and not to spend your life grieving? Everyone is entitled to happiness and there are lots of lovely, sincere people in the world who are looking for equally the same person.
Edited.
Audrey - again I am speaking from my point of view and what ‘I’ would do.
I know divorce is agonising but there are so many factors involved in that.
Unlike when a partner you have shared so many years with and a special bond, it just wouldn’t cross my mind to look elsewhere - I appreciate there are others that would, I don’t have a problem with them seeking another partner - their choice …
I know that Alice - but please don’t tell me ‘my feelings’ gal - I do know, and would just prefer you respect that.
I have no problem with people looking for a partner whether for divorced reasons or losing a partner …
I’m not telling you your feelings. Sorry if you feel that.
That was also my feeling but know only too well it can change.
You have to be in someone’s shoes.
I do that Alice - often
I don’t think you are ‘reading’ my posts …
I am not saying I love my husband more than anyone else loves theirs, I just know no one could take his place we are both odd people who have somehow come together and make a pretty good team, I couldn’t have that with anyone else they wouldn’t have his character or feelings, our memories and much more. I know my limitations and I know what I could or couldn’t do and finding another man who would put up with me just would never happen.
It is going off topic and going down the slippery slope 
This is when I say cheerio 
I’ve said all I have to say 
In many ways… I found being divorced worse than being widowed. As I stated… when you are widowed, you get tons of sympathy and people are so concerned for your well being and mental health… For a while that is… until they get tired of worrying about you or until you show signs of wanting to join the world of the living and find love again… then all that caring and sympathy go out the window and a widow finds she is placed in a lower box than a divorcee…
When you are divorced… you have to live with that EX spouse prancing and parading around with other partners… if there are children, you are tied to your ex for support… and even if the kids are grown, there are still weddings… Grandchildren, Christenings, birthday parties…etc where your ex will turn up like a bad penny.
Either way… it’s the woman who will be judged… and the woman who will suffer the consequences of her actions much more than a man ever will.
Good idea for me too - I hope :-p
Just in my personal experience I think men are treated worse after divorce - normally even if it wasn’t their fault they get blamed. The woman is usually thought of with sympathy.
But as I said that’s just how I observe it with people I know.
Poor bloke who was beaten regularly finally left his wife and hardly anyone sympathised with him it was all poor Jean who he had left who got the sympathy.
Except you DON’T know… you can’t until you’ve lived it. I was SOOOOOOO sure I would NEVER find love again nor even have the desire to date or talk to another man… So sure in fact that I went out and bought an extravagant double headstone for my husband’s brave and had my name and birthdate engraved on the other half… Even had entwined wedding bands and our wedding date engraved on it. Talk about expensive… But that’s how sure I was…
Until the lonliness sets in. Until you miss that everyday interaction you had with a spouse… The ability to share experiences and have conversation that only the two of you understand the importance of… Until all the hoopla and fanfare you get from being the grieving widow disappears when all the well meaning folks get tired of hearing about your grief and move on…enjoying their lives with their own partners… yet prefering to see you partnerless… THEN… and only then will you know.
I’ve noticed that too - and the worst thing is when my friend divorced and did all she could to turn her son against the father ! I told her what I thought of that - its so wrong …
I think I shall also take Alice’s cue… and exit stage left… It’s getting dicey.
Well I’ve been at the beach having a lovely time and have only come in for some shade, but I’m also leaving this thread as some of the remarks are becoming crass, particularly from those attempting to portray some holier than thou attitudes and herculean morality…which appears to be restricted to married women only?
Audrey - I think your post sums things up very succinctly. 
I think I am off now too as it is obvious anyone with any sort of other ideals is not being listened to properly.
Oh come on… surely you understand the meaning behind that statement… THE MEANING was… that sex is as necessary to the human existance as all other biological functions…
Yes of course we all knew what you meant Audrey, your statements are as I read them very honest, also right and good to hear. Most of us women love and thoroughly enjoy sex, being sexy and womanly for whoever we choose to be intimate with.
From one woman to another I make no apologies, nor do we need to justify ourselves to anyone, really we do not need approval from others and certainly not from one of our sisters.
Have you not noticed ladies…how quiet the men are…it speaks volumes!!!
Back to the topic now…get out there ladies strut your stuff, have fun regardless of your age, but take care. Simples