In a nutshell - YES !
LOL 
Just reminded of the joke…younger men prefer older women…cos they don’t know when they’re next gonna get lucky!!
I’ve heard that expression too Audrey, and I can see the sense in it too.
My my… such a stigma against sex… Sex is as normal and as necessary as eating and pooping. It’s designed not only for propagation, but also for physical well being and pleasure. Ever notice that everything necessary to sustain life or a species is pleasurable? The human adult… young… old… male… female… is hardwired to enjoy and participate in sexual activity. It’s only our society that has made it taboo for certain sectors of adults… and that seems to be single adult females. Granted… the young fertile female has more invested in the sex act… She is the one getting pregnant and bearing the child. But when that is taken out of the equation, it’s only societial norms that wants the older single woman to remain celibate and “respectful”… There have always been STDs… Now we have added HIV infection… SO I think the idea here is that, (taking the moral issue out of it,) if you do have sex… don’t let the fact that there is no longer a pregnancy issue to worry about make you careless.
How is it possible to judge who has the higher moral code? And who is qualified to judge?
Sounds like some social clambering exercise!
Societal restrictions placed on females over the milenia has it’s roots in the fact that males do not want to have to support or defend another male’s offspring… It also insures that a particular male… ie the lawful wedded spouse… or in more distant days… the one claiming ownership over a particular female, have HIS particular DNA survive to carry on the species. THEN the Church stepped in (again another male dominated institution) and sex… or prohibition of it… became another way of controling females and keeping them in their place… by shaming or in some cases even executing those that stepped out of line.
Somehow sex became some sort of mystical magical thing that was only allowed in the sanctity of marriage and only for those able to procreate… Instead of what it is… a very enjoyable and necessary activity. Studies have shown that babies who are denied touch die. I have to think that the act of touch, particularly intimate touch is necessary until we die. Perhaps it does not culminate into a full blown romp… but as we age… the need to hold and be held is important to mental… as well as physical wellbeing.
It’s about respecting yourself and other people IMO, and the idea it is as necessary as pooping is in my life laughable. Many live perfectly happy lives without it, many have to so happily it isn’t as necessary as pooping or we would all be in trouble.
I don’t ask or expect anyone to live to my moral code clearly many couldn’t or wouldn’t want to. But it is nothing to do with social clambering, much more to do with core beliefs and respecting my marriage vows. If others feel differently then fine just don’t expect us all to approve or support those decisions any more than you support or approve mine.
Right again Julie - and, as said earlier, its a difference of opinion …
We are not trying to change views - just stating ours …
I think it’s the inferred superiority of YOUR moral code that is grating Julie. You seem to be looking down your nose at those that do not feel as you do. and YES… it is a societal or social moray you are touting… It has nothing to do with biology or actual human need.
Sorry to interject as you responded to Julie but - that comment is so ridiculous Audrey, if you feel ‘strongly’ on a subject surely - you will come across in a strong manner - that’s all it is
I am not looking down on anyone just stating my feelings on the subject, if anyone is judging it is saying sex is necessary like pooping, some of us would be dead if that were the case. Medical issues and medications all take a toll on bodies, disabilities lead to sex being very far from necessary. People who have no wish to have sex are ridiculed virginity is not just no longer a virtue but something people are afraid to admit because they will be laugh at.
Hi Julie, what a shame we can’t send ‘Reppie points’ here (Like we can over on Dogsey) would definately send you one for this post of yours.
Perhaps… but it’s the “I’m respectable” and the inferred “You’re not”… that is the problem…
I don’t think I actually said I was respectable just that I respected myself and my marriage vows. I hope I am respectable but not necessarily because of my views on sex.
I think it’s a case of “walk in my shoes”.
I was married for 30 years, was with my ex husand 33 years. Never in a million years did I ever imagine myself every to be on my own again - for a few years anyway. I’d been with him since the age of 19 and would never have dreamt of sleeping around with anyone else. I believe in marriage vows.
Anyway, when my ex left then I was bereft and it was almost like being widowed.
Stupidly, looking back now, although it seemed the right thing to do at the time, I joined a dating site. I was looking for something that was never going to happen again. Only through loneliness and desperation and the hopeless feeling of losing a partner. I wasn’t even ready to meet someone else, but I was in a low place. i also told my family I had joined it and they must have been worried sick about me (sorry!!).
After putting my profile on, a couple of decent men sent me messages telling me "you seem very nice - please be careful on here). I didn’t know what they meant, until the following days and weeks. They are full of married men, men who have dumped their wives for someone else, men looking for domination. There are a few nice people, but they are probably snapped up before long. The dregs of society are left. It is obvious that many men, and women I might add, are only on there for sex talk (probably whilst their partner is in the kitchen making dinner). Many men, and women, openly state they want to meet someone for a one night stand, no strings attached. Many young men get on to the older woman because they say "I like older women because they’re more experienced). Any excuse to get into your knickers if you’re that way inclined. Thankfully I was not.
There will be many women and men, now in longstanding, loving relationships, who think that they will never end up in that position. Hopefully you never will.
No wonder there is a rise in sexually transmitted diseases. Many men will have lived with their long suffering wives, who probably weren’t interested in sex in latter years, then left them and felt like a child in a sweetie shop. Take your pick from who and how many you want to have sex with. I might add that women will be the same. Some of them want to regain their youth, with unpleasant results. I can imagine nothing more embarrassing as a middle aged men or woman sitting in a queue in the GUM clinic, alongside teenagers. However, that’s the way of things now.
After all that complete and utter disgusting and degrading shannanigans, I decided I’d much rather be on my own. However, I went on to meet someone who is the nicest man I have ever met and I’ve been very lucky.
I have friends who have met decent people on dating sites, so I am certainly not saying there are no decent people, nor decent relationships which develop. I’m stating that no matter how or where you are at this time in your life or relationship, you just don’t know how life can turn and you are enveloped in a more seedy, open world. The sad fact is that if you’ve lived with someone for many years and never been with anyone else in that time then you’ll never have to worry about diseases.
I’m far from prudish and it’s up to the individual whether or not they like or enjoy sex. It’s a purely personal choice. Just don’t inflict your disease on someone who doesn’t have the same morals as you.
Edit: I might also say that I don’t think sex is restricted to any particular age group. It’s more difficult to swing from the chandeliers when older ;-).
Also, some people are more interested in companionship as they’ve been there, done that and bought the t shirt!!
Oh come on… surely you understand the meaning behind that statement… THE MEANING was… that sex is as necessary to the human existance as all other biological functions… glad you found the pooping analogy so interesting… But eating, eliminating, breathing, sex, are all biological… however, it’s only sex that has had society put restriction on who should and who shouldn’t.
AND YES… I understand that as we age, health issues, medications and mobility issues can impact the ability to participate in sex, and even affect the desire for sex, but as the OP suggested… this is about healthy and able Seniors who still DO have the desire and ability… yet you bring up “respect” and somehow disparage them of that. Why should they be disrespected?
Agree and ‘feel’ for people like Alice who have to ‘wade through’ those just wanting sex rather than a relationship.
You can do what you want, as can I why do I have to support and respect it though any more than you support and respect my moral stance ? why does it matter what others think if you are sure you are doing the right thing ?
Thank you Patsy. I’ve been very open, which I am, but just have to give another view of the situation. We never know what’s round the corner, and just as well.
I’m far from prudish and it’s up to the individual whether or not they like or enjoy sex. It’s a purely personal choice. Just don’t inflict your disease on someone who doesn’t have the same morals as you.
Thank you for sharing your story Alice…
It’s the last sentence… How can someone inflict their disease on someone who refuses to have sex with them? And by your statement… if they have sex with them… don’t they have the same morals?
Anyway… I was with my late husband 25 years… I was widowed suddenly… He died before my eyes while we were watching the evening news. MY present husband was married 29 years. His wife suffered from MS for the last 19 years of their marriage, and contracted inflamatory breast cancer. He was her sole caregiver for the final years of her life… and eventually even lost his employment because he had to care for her and she didn’t die quick enough.
I met him on a dating site… We had something in common that was the original reason we communicated… eventually we decided to fall in love, but it was a long process… and YES we had sex before we were married. I think it would have been stupid not to… and NO we were not tested… perhaps that was stupid, but in our case, I didn’t see the need on my part. NOW if anyone wants to label me immoral or not quite up to their moral code… so be it…
There are always going to be predators out there… Women need to be savvy enough to wade through the weeds to find the lilly…