director: carry on OGF carry on! - I’ll get you an oscar yet!!
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gawd blimey he’s forgotten his bloody lines again OGF - kickstart that pacemaker laddie!!
Life sometimes gets in the way of fiction bret, and I did expect some support…
She went on to tell me of something that occurred that very morning. “Whilst I was cleaning my teeth there was a heavy banging on the front door. Startled I made my way down the stairs and gingerly opened the front door to find a 6 foot tall beetle standing there. He immediately punched me in the eye and told me to F off.”
Apparently there’s a nasty bug going around.
And to make things worse I’ve now got the flu. 
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I shall go and prepare a boiled egg on toast and consider the next chapter…
No! Really…
The fore mentioned Egg…And very nice it was too…
she looked at me with tears welling in her eyes and murmured…??
“Can you finish off blitzing the onions for the base sauce for the Curry tonight”
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I pondered for a moment, almost moved to the point of pity but no, I stiffened my resolve. “Look, you’ve only got a couple of crybabies left, I’m sure you’ll be fine, oh, you won’t forget to put the Cobra in the fridge will you?”
Just for a moment she remained motionless as if turned to stone, slowly, so very, very slowly she raised her head, her eyes now glaring, bloodshot, seething with rage. My very life flashed before me “” heck, that’s shallot I thought to myself."
There was a knock at the door, she composed herself and walked slowly to see who was calling this late at night. As the big wooden door creaked open it revealed a hooded figure carrying a cool bag with the words “Just Eat” emblazoned on the side…But it wasn’t a big mac that was plucked from it’s depths, it was a…
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In dogging, the couple deliberately make certain that they can be seen by anybody who comes by (just in order to see it). It involves an audience, quite often. It’s (among other things) a deliberate showing off of the act of sexual intercourse, in the traditional exhibitionist’s way. Those folk like to be watched, and the watchers like to do the watching!
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What the 
Papa Johns for Rayner? F***in scum, she shouted…I ordered Indian tonight! She marched upstairs as the night was getting pasta joke now, and gave the food to everyone. We need to make the most of our substantial meals, and eat in tonight to help out those that are suffering more than what we is…
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I sucked a Greasy Spoon 
I sucked his greasy spoon!! - petrol fumes oh NO he’s gone back to diesel?
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…we all sat around the table deep in pros…searchin for a seaurchin and the next thought…Ogf was skippin in the corner with a pretty colored rope and getting 'orrible tangled in it as usual…spittie sat in the other corner spittin wire coils and nuts and bolts and mutterin insanities as he tried to remember his chinese instructions…and the rest tonight looked all sad and lonely as their hearts beat as one tom tom tom tom…remember mr tom …bloody 'ell for one wee moment he brought the nation together innit …even had the queen weapin in 'er bowl at night…I’m just waiting for that portland barge to fill up again!!..
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…and then there was that lady sat at her table all alone contemplating her plate ; her empty plate ; were had the kippers flown to ? I didn’t realize kippers could fly or even responded to fly fishing ?
so I asked her again?..
I want whatever bret’s on…
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just the smell of an oily rag OGF! …she stopped sighin and gurglin and said could some one give me a lift - my car battery has gone flat??..there was silence in the room…tic toc tic toc???
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finally in desperation as OGF and Spits and the rest were snoring I offered to give her a lift - goodafternoon lads!! - I’ll fill ya in later!! B