What qualities attract / don’t attract people ?
Several of my friends children are still unmarried or attached in their late thirties or forties yet they are ( to my eyes ) attractive people but they don’t seem to be able to find a partner .
Are they too picky or what ?
Conversely I know several other friends children who are not as conventionally attractive yet have no trouble finding partners .
To give an example
My friends daughter although delightful and pretty is always unpunctual .
I think ( but don’t like to say) when my friend bemoans her lack of boyfriends they probably get fed up of her turning up late !
So I would say punctuality is attractive .
Otherwise is it personality or looks ?
For me, it has always been personality and brains. As for the opposite sex; in my youth it was always a dark haired curvaceous body, but not too top heavy and well upholstered child bearing hips with some height to her (I was 6’ 6").
So I married a very short Scandinavian with almost white blonde hair and a tendency to be top heavy The love bug is obviously blind
Both my husbands have been dark haired men both ( by coincidence ) of Italian ancestry .
In my foolish youth I went out with an American girl, she was clever, educated, even spoke a couple of languages (she was at a language school) and was absolutely gorgeous. She came from one of the southern American states, I can’t remember which one, but she spoke with the sing song accent of that state.
The problem was that every time she spoke it was all I could do not to laugh. As I say she was a clever girl and what she said was not foolish but it struck me as hilarious as if from an ignorant hill billy just the way she said it. These days if I hear a similar accent it doesn’t seem odd at all, I can only attribute it to my youth and inexperience with American accents.
What a fool I was! An absolute idiot.
Kindness strength ability integrity intelligence…I could go on
Bruce
I always smile when I hear a real Gloucestershire / Wiltshire accent ( getting very rare ) full of ‘oi be and he bes ‘
Reminds me of The Wurzels.
Are these recognisable at first instance ?
Personality and the ability to make me laugh is definitely an attractive quality in someone in my mind. Initially I would say a physical attraction but an ugly personality can diminish the physical attraction somehow.
I think intelligence is attractive too, I’m drawn to an intelligent mind
Just on looks alone, I’ll do the thinking!
LQ how would you recognise an intelligent mind across a crowded room ?
No I get what you mean there has to be that initial attraction…a nice smile maybe
Yes that’s what I find attractive
that’s where the physical attraction would come in Muddy, only by talking to someone can you find intelligence
I think there is a moment when two people look, at each other, and Bingo!
Happened to ,me, all the other search facilities were then, immediately, redundant!
Ironically I was born in Cheltenham so I had a Gloucestershire accent, when we moved to Kent I was about 5 or 6. We went to a village council estate with a lot of London families displaced by slum clearances (I think) I lost my accent within weeks because they rather took the piss.
Definitely personality. I like easy going, good natured men with a sense of humour who don’t take themselves or life too seriously. Definitely no drama llamas
I’m also attracted to confident men who are good at what they do and know it
It’s weird because I’ve got several male friends I love dearly who you’d describe as the sensitive, shy introverted type Lovely in a friend but I’m not attracted to that in life partner
Kindness and generosity is important too. And I like flirts And they have to be able to stand up for themselves I’m a bit of a full on character and I don’t want anyone I can push around
I don’t think appearances matter at all. But I generally prefer dark hair and eyes, darker skin rather than pale. I like curly hair and tattoos. Average height because I’m little and I don’t want to have to get on a step ladder! Nice hands that look as if they’ve done some work and definitely no chubby fingers
Casual clothes but look amazing when they put a suit on once in a blue moon!
But the truth of it is, none of that really matters, the heart wants what it wants and when you find “the one” they may be none of the things you thought you wanted.
Physical attraction first, but people are such a disappointment once you get to know them.
For some reason I find a man in uniform attractive blush
Who doesn’t
yeah, wonder why though