I’ve only ever seen those on old films…
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Yes, this is a gun in my pocket, but I’m also pleased to see you! 
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Ok if I bring my Mum along ?
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She’s in this Urn …
Ooops!
I’ve just spilled some of her all over your starter, shall I send it back or are you okay…
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That reminds me of an old Spike Milligan spoof advert for ‘Threadgold’s Thoroughgrip Garterettes’. 
Even bigger passion killer 
My Mum said I have to be home by 9pm
Look, but don’t touch me!
How can I prevent constipation?
I think maybe talk about your Piles!
You can have quite a long conversation over the reasons for getting Piles!
… and their nicknames.
Nobbies (Nobby Stiles)
Farmers (Farmer Giles)
Chalfonts (Chalfont-Saint-Giles)
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These Cushions are great apparently…another talking pointer…
dont we all love Donuts as well…double treats it seems!
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I think I bought one of these last week. Can’t remember where I put it.
Can you cut my toenails please darling? I can’t seem to bend that low anymore.
Doesn’t your Mother have beautiful blue eyes.
Ever been shagged by a TL3?
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I’ve just dropped my wedding ring, can you help me look for it.
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Good grief fatty lass, at least fart to give me clue 
