My landlord has recently been in touch about doing a property inspection, and wants to know when it would be convenient for him to come. This has left me in a state of panic.
My tenancy agreement clearly states that I am not allowed to keep either pets or rhubarb on the premises. I did have a dog, but it died a couple of years ago without him ever knowing about it. I do not, however, know how I am going to get round the problem of the rhubarb. My bedroom is wall to wall with it. It is the only thing in there; I sleep on the sofa upstairs. I have even adapted the bedroom so that the rhubarb can be kept in total darkness, and there is also quite an elaborate ventilation system. He’ll hit the roof when he finds out.
Insist that he fixes a date for the inspection - then harvest and eat as much as you can. Email the rest to family and friends. An excess of rhubarb might just be the very thing your unruly grandchildren need. If they won’t eat it you could use it to beat them!
You’ll have to tell him that it’s not convenient because you are unable to leave the toilet on account of having consumed 943 lbs of rhubarb. He can’t accuse you of having had the rhubarb in your house, because for all he knows you ate it at a friend’s house.
People who take life too seriously do play a valuable roll in society, though, Tabby. Without them, there would be very little for the rest of us to laugh at. Laughter is very important for one’s overall wellbeing.
Not really sure why you felt it was OK to break your tenancy agreement.
Think you’d best start looking for somewhere else to live and expect to lose most of your deposit which the landlord will have to spend getting rid of the rhubarb Harbal.
It was OK when I did it. It is the landlord who has made it not OK, by insisting on the inspection. It would have stayed OK, left up to me, so I consider it his fault.
I am sorry to hear your predicament Harbal. I suppose you could always lie and pretend that you enjoy growing Japanese Knotweed. The chances are, he would not know the difference.
I used to know a French explorer who specialised in this sort of stuff although his main area was under water rhubarb …what was his name?..
My mother needed no website, LD. She regularly did pig’s bum pudding, along with pig’s bum bangers and mash, pig’s bum Sunday dinners, pig’s bum triffle… If fact, she made a pig’s bum out of every dish she ever served up. Of course, I didn’t know any different at the time, I grew up thinking food was supposed to taste like that.
all I can say is ‘rhubarb rhubarb hubarb’
