Following the comments on long and contrived jokes how about a section for short ones? Like 2 lines or less if possible 
I’ll kick things off with some light bulb jokes.
Q: How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to hold the breasts, I mean ladder
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two – one to change it, one not to change it
Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled “coping with darkness”.
Q: How many thriller writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two – one gets it almost all the way in, then the other comes along and applies a surprising twist at the end.
Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb in another divorced man’s house?
A: Yeah, like he gets the house!
Q: How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish.
Q: How many Matrix fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There is no lightbulb…
Q: How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, 1 to change the light bulb, the other 9 to congratulate him down the pub.
Q: How many idiots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 101, 1 to hold the bulb, the other 100 to push the house around!
Q: How many Blue Peter presenters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the light bulb and the other to say “here’s one we did earlier”
Q: How many kids with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hey! Do you wanna go ride bikes?
Q: How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
Q: How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One. No, 2. No, 4. No, 8. No, 16. No, 32…….
Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.
Q: How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, you know.
Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin’ mate!
Q: How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Just One! They are efficient and don’t have a sense of humour!
Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, They don’t make Pampers small enough.
