[size=“5”]Nope [/size] 
“Love is in the air” Wooooo!, even the tallest tree in the forest has to fall sometime:lol:
The only thing I have a reservation about is her poem writing skill cos it might well be better than my own :shock: . Not sure I can tolerate that 
.
The Morning Row
The Morning Row
She was down in the dumps this morning
I know what this means - an ominous warning
It was easy to see through the fog of allusion
Her mind drifts - so full of confusion
A friend pissed her off - all that talk of fuel
He wants putting in jail and made to eat gruel
Oh she had such a trying restless night
Up in the early hours full of spite
And who gets it in the morning - all the sobs and hysterics?
You guessed it the innocent party over me horlicks
What had I done to get it in the neck so?
Ah but it is affection really - gives me a glow
Cos to be considered a punch bag in an intimate way
Means I am special and sets me up for the day
So thrash and kick out at night little lady
Don’t have doubts or clam up in the morning - no maybe
Just hit me over the head figuratively
And let me calm you down softly
So good…
You poetry skills are certainly improving Mark , it must be having a ‘muse’ to inspire you :-).
She is just too good. Another poem from the goddess (muse ;)).
The Man
The man pursued her vigorously
Bombarded her relentlessly
She didn’t understand the game
And first refused to give her name
His anger made her want to hide
But something stirred deep down inside
How could she not reveal to him
Her inner thoughts ? … t’would be a sin
But jealous rages did ensue
And took their toll upon her too
She wept, she languished in her bed
When e’re he ran from her instead
Of taking her into his arms
And soothing her with words of calm
So it continued endlessly
The chase, the hurt, the need to flee
Until, at length, a pattern formed
And gradually his virile storm
Evolved into those words of passion
She’d yearned for, in that feminine fashion
And then their meeting came to fruition
At last, her female intuition
Was proven right, he was the one
She always knew one day would come
Grr - how am I going to top that?
That’s lovely Mark. 
It’s from the heart. 
I doubt you can but I’m sure you will try. 
A Distant Welshman
(Ghost written - me → her)
He likes to have lots of cuddles
But at first a cuddle spelt trouble
I put my arms around him in a wrestling hold
I just had to get close - just had to be bold
Else remote he would have stayed
To both of our dismay
Welsh men as so very distant and cold
At least this one is - all muscle and bone
Not used to hugs and certainly not cuddles
And I had to invent a new word that combined the whole lot - a huddle!
But I’m not at all like him
Full of bluster, full of vim
I like to feel secure and close
Strong arms around me the most
Without it I wither and die
Shrivel up and just cry
They just get better and better 
.
You ‘ghost writer’ is pretty good Mark 
Moaning
Sure cold today and going to get even colder so they say
My bones ache so they must be right; bones never lie even though well out of sight
I shall have to weather the storm in the best way I can
This is what it is like to live as a Welshman
Close to the sea as me
I wraps up warm in my pjs and dressing gown snuggly
Heating is on but still quite sparingly
Well it cost money don’t it you see
And I am as tight fisted as can be
There is a moral here for all to use
I hand it out to whoever I choose
I’m a wise old bugger don’t you know
And wisdom I pass on - plant a seed that will grow
And when you are old enough to see
You will think again of saving money and me
Charity begins at home
Else I will end up chewing on some damn dog bone
Without a penny to my name
You do gooders are all the same
Now piss off and stop knocking at my door
Before I knock you instead and to the floor
Can’t you read the s****** sign
No colder callers here - this house is private and mine!
Well that was fun . Bored I suppose…
That’s good stuff Mark, what are you calling that one, Ode to Melancholy or Kick the Caller?
…defiantly a touch of the Dylan Thomas I would say on this ‘moonless, starless bible black night’ 
I sense another poem in the making 
sobs
She is just too good at this. I want a DIVORCE!
Another ‘Muse’ masterpiece.
Written by the ‘mystery missus’ :shock: .
A little ditty sprang into my head … as I lay resting in my bed
Slept fitfully and awoke at 3
In dire need of having a pee
But I can be a lazy sod
And went back to the land of nod
Now wide awake and way past 7
I dreamed of childhood hols in Devon
And then of next week and new thrills
Forthcoming visits to K***** Hill
My life enriched with my new friend
Our new tricks surely have no end
Pursuing goals with fervent vigour
Can only make us smile and snigger
We’re having fun, that’s how it should be
No time for dwelling purposefully
On matters serious or grim
He likes me and I like him
That’s all it takes and all that matters
Who needs a life that’s full of tatters ?
We’re past all that, the mental anguish
What we want now is to rest and languish
In each other’s company
Without the outside world to see
If we so wish an occasional view
We have that choice, life’s good for us two.
Who is this woman? What other hidden depths will I be swamped with? Is she going to usurp me as the Resident Off poet? Shaking in my boots here…
Well done Mark. I take off my hat to you
excellent themes, stuff of dreams.
Wish it was written by myself Robert but it was the ‘mystery missus’ :shock: . She has now taken up the art of ‘poeting’ and lets face it she is a lot better at it than I am.
Lovely poem.
Retaliation
So she thinks she can write better poems than I?
Well she better think again cos that is simply pie in the sky
I can up my game any old time I care to consider
‘Hidden depths’ I said? bah mine are too deep to even enquire
So the gauntlet has been used and my face stings so
I don’t pay any heed to that though
My skin is as tough as a rhino
Sos my ‘mystery missus’ needs to be taught a lesson
This poem thread is not safe for a softy person
Not with my competitive nasty nature running free
Always wanting to dominate any creature you see
Be it here or anywhere I is relentless
Some call me callous and others bonkers
Don’t make no dif cos I is what I is
And I go for the throat - just like this
Cum on - now that is better than the ‘mystery missus’ last attempt surely ?
Nope. :-p:lol:
Sitting poet you shall remain
Over and over again
Of that you have no fear
Poet of the year.