I wish to complain …
my feet are small :-p
Leave my glass eye out of this.
RJ, have you ever had a Gobby or a Bully?.
[SIZE=“5”]Relief Phone Calls[/SIZE]
I used to have a friend who was a bit kinky, not in a deviant way I might add
When I tell you what made her laugh you might though think her a little bit mad
Well let me try and word this in a way that doesn’t paint her in the wrong light
I would hate for her to read this awesome poem and we end up in an fight
Apparently the sound of me peeing reminded her of a particular funny tune
Every time I tinkled she giggled a little, but not so as to disturb me - not like a loon
Sos I drank plenty of water, ate fruit and the like, timing my phone calls to be just right
And I kept my girlie happy very cheaply with my dosh kept well out sight
:shock::-D:twisted:
That’s women for yeh, is it any wonder why some men go on the piss.
Sounds a bit common to me chum.
SORRY by Jem, hoping to get back in the wife’s good book.
I’m sorry for the things I do
hurtful some, that’s very true
The Rat I sent you in the post
the night I dressed up as a ghost
the pile of vomit on the stairs
my socks never being in pairs
Sicking all the things I do
but underneath I still love you.
Lol Jem … very sweet
I’m quite sure she will forgive you immediately and melt into your arms once more … sighs
Wot you gone and done lately Jem to cause all this remorse?
[SIZE=“3”]Painful Flashback[/SIZE]
Been a funny old day, been a funny few days come to that, considering stuff to do with me life
A very weird thing crossed my mind at some point in time - realising I ain’t never had a wife
Does it matter in the grand scheme of things? - eh no, of course not, as tis just little old me
Then again ain’t I the centre of my own universe - following my own path - my own decree?
Nah, just rambling, thinking of the past and what might have been, but there is more to it - obscure
It is, and I am loathe to admit but revenge plays a part in my deep dark thoughts - a spiteful cure
That would surely give me pleasure for a very short time but only remorse would remain
Ain’t the past such a pain …
[SIZE=“4”]Odd Day[/SIZE]
So many faces I have seen today - is that good I wonder?
With a face comes memories once locked away - free again - asunder
Relive the past once more - is that a good thing - why for heaven’s sake?
Isn’t the present enough for you and me - bury the past as in a wake?
If you bask in glories you thought so much of so long ago is self defeatist
It robs you of the glories you could do tomorrow - you were elitist?
Barmy approach and one I will not adopt - but you have to be polite
Otherwise you will come across as someone who isn’t at all ‘right’
Still it unsettles me to chat about stuff I did so long go
I want to do things now and in the future don’t you know
And I intend to do so so don’t drown me in memories of old
I want to get my head down and charge forward, bold
the old buddhist monks
tell us “live in the now”
don’t dwell with the past
Nor the future no how
Just sit in the pose
and breath in and breath out
and don’t listen
to those “chattering monkeys” no how
let the past drop away
it will hold you to fast
breath in and breath out
just enjoy this repast
and now the hardest
to rise right above
can I think of the future
can I plan till I bust?
well if you sit and you plan
throughout this good day
you’ll have missed so much richness
to enhance your own way
the monks say that planning
until you just bust
will screw up your life
cause the plans go to dust!
Very good gumbud .
Very good lads. Ah the past, happy days, sad days, but still it’s great to have a past to reflect on.
‘Chattering Monkeys’ I have me own chattering monkeys in the kitchen right now so I’m off to the pub, cheers.
Mid life crisis - drunk to boot.
Ok, you reprobates. You wanna fluff your feathers for all to see?
Why for f***sake - are you so alone like me?
Awash in a sea of mediocrity!
F*** all before us - why should we care?
Do we hang on others, pulled God knows where?
We are the result of so much pain and confusion
We lack the balls to state our derision?
So we get old and lack the teeth to bite ferociously?
Not me, I keep my fangs sharp and extremely deadly
No way I departing from this world without a fight
One way or another I will stand by what I consider right
Hmmmmmm … the answer could be there … somewhere 
maybe the monks got it right all the time
to be drunk and to see may not always be blind
as the brain slowly dulls
so the mind may awake
oh for f… sake MKJ
just give us a break!
*I know what you’re thinking about,’ said Tweedledum: but it isn’t so, nohow.’
Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.’
you cannot know what I just funk
so mind your 'p’s and 'q’s they’re junk
contrary is and was and be
but it don’t know what I did see - see!
Ring out the bells, break out the beer
the poet returns full of great cheer
He may be as thin as twine
but he’ll gladden your heart with glorious rhyme.
Get in there Mark and bathe your feet.