I 've been missing from here for the past few weeks as I’ve had major abdominal surgery.
On October 4th I was rushed to hospital with stomach pain. It seems I have diverticulitis & a diverticular burst in to my stomach letting in all my bowel contents. They told me I would die if I didn’t have the operation & to be honest I wanted to die. My family all came & tried to persuade me to have the operation. I gave in & had it.
They had to remove my bowel. I now have a stoma bag & am finding it hard to accept - maybe because it all happened so suddenly. I went through hell in hospital as the nurse coaxed me to get used to it. I refused to look at it or touch it - I went hysterical. Eventually though I had to accept it & learn to care for it or I would have still been in hospital.
I’m as weak as a kitten, weepy & feel like a freak.
I would desperately like to find someone else who has had this operation or knows somebody.
My family have been wonderful but they can’t really understand what this is like…
first condolences Carol and good to see you back and second a question are there no stoma therapists available to assist they can be very good and professional of course??
Sorry to hear about your illness Carol but it’s good to see you decided to live.
No personal experience but there are videos on youtube with people of all ages sharing theirs,which may help.
Hi Carol. I’m so sorry to hear about your illness. My eldest son was diagnosed with Anal and Kidney cancer and after a major life changing operation he now has to use Stoma bags. He had more than a year of treatment involving both Chemo and Radiotherapy. It took him several months to get used to his new lifestyle but with the help of his family he now is enjoying life again. He is 60 years old. Keep fighting Carol there is light at the end of the tunnel I promise.
Hi carol, glad you survived, I had this exactly the same as you, I had diverticulitis but I didn’t know I had it, I too had an emergency operation to save my life as the peritonitis would have killed me in a matter of hours, I had a stoma fitted but mine was reversible, I know what you mean by the pain it’s excruciating, I was given morphine but eventually it did nothing, it is quite frightening to wake up with a stoma bag fitted but, honestly, you do get used to it and the stoma nurses are brilliant, they teach you how to manage it and change your stoma bag, I also had issues when they removed the clips that held my incision together as it came apart, I had to have the district nurse out everyday ( including Christmas Day) to pack it out, as I said you do get used to the stoma bag and everything that goes with it, I’m sure you’ll qualify for free prescriptions, but if not then purchase a prepayment certificate, as the stuff you need will be expensive, I had to go through the operation six months later, to have it reversed, but it was different as I wasn’t poorly, don’t be scared carol, even if you have to have it for the rest of your life it will just become a regular thing like brushing your teeth, even though it doesn’t seem like it now, many people with a stoma bag don’t let it interfere with their lives, hope this helps you carol, if you need any more help, I will gladly advise if I can, of course I can only speak from my experience….
Oh no so sorry to hear this Carol. What a terrible thing to have to go through. My thoughts are with you and I wish you all the best for your recovery. ❤️🩹
Hello Carol, I am so sorry to read about your illness and what you have gone through in the past few weeks. It must have come as a terrible shock to you and your family.
Be brave, you will get through this shock in time and will shortly learn to accept the Stoma bag …… it will become your saviour, your friend.
Carol, sorry to hear you are still weepy. It’s still early days yet so just go with the flow. Rest if you need it, talk to someone if you need it. Contact your stoma team, ask for the support of the other people in the same position that you were promised. We are thankful you elected to stay alive, and I bet your family are too.
When I was at Windsor Castle, I had a Mashall Smith as my Chief Fire Officer who underwent the same as you and coped very well indeed. He was on duty when the fire of '92 broke out and I’ll leave you to read about it yourself as he never let his op get in the way of his Castle duties👇 1992 Windsor Castle fire - Wikipedia
My Mum had a stoma for about 25 years and lived to nearly 97!! She would have died as she had bowel cancer, twice. Took some getting used to but she came to call it her “friend”. In time she said it was actually much more hygienic than the normal method of disposing of waste. The stoma nurses helped her and we knew they were always at the end of the phone, so do use them.
Everything she needed, colostomy bags (made to measure), disposal bags, adhesive sprays, air sprays etc were all provided free on prescription and delivered to her home. That service was excellent.
I had a friend in her early 50s who had bowel cancer and they gave her a temporary stoma and after a good few months they gave her the choice of keeping it or doing a reconstruction. She chose the reconstruction but now says she wishes she had stayed with the bags because they were far more reliable and without them she did have several accidents.
Stay strong, use the stoma nurses and you may make it to 97 too!xx
I’m so sorry this has happened to you, I wish I could give you a hug xx
Grieving for what you’ve lost isn’t feeling sorry for yourself, you’r bound to go through all sorts of emotions, including anger. Be very gentle and kind to yourself and give it a while
When you feel up to it, and don’t feel you have to rush, I know the Colostomy U.K. run a lot of local support groups and have a Facebook support group which might help you xxxx
There’s a lady in our sea swimming group who has a stoma and she managed well, she has a selection of pretty swimsuits designed to fit around the bag
But don’t feel you have to be brave, or manage, or any of that. Just give yourself time to get over the shock and accept all the help you can get xxxx
The stoma nurses in hospital were wonderful. One of their team is coming out to see me at home this week & they are at the end of the phone if ever I need them.
As for their putting me in touch with other people like me - well that was a bit of a let down!! All they could offer is a coffee morning every two months - the next one December.
When I’m feeling a bit brighter I’ll contact Colostomy U.K. I’m sure there must be more.
I’m not recovering as well as I’d hoped. I feel as weak as a kitten. Having Tony with Alzheimer’s doesn’t help. When I feel sorry for myself & have a little cry he doesn’t know what I’m crying about. He remembers I was in hospital but thinks it was with a bad back! I would love it if he could give me some comfort but it’s not to be…
Sorry to hear your bad news Carol and I’m glad to see you back posting on the forum, there are some very caring people on here who will help with advice and support, as you can see.
Us oldies must all stick together because life will throw most of us a curved ball at some time in our lives and being part of a friendly forum like this means there will always be someone there to talk to.
Hugs from Foxy…
This really annoys me, the poor promises made to you! It would seem apart from the proposed visit from a Stoma nurse*, you really have been left to your own devices. It is no wonder you still feel weak and down in the dumps. I would too.
Poor Tony. This must be so hard for him.
I am sorry we can’t do more for you, but remember we are always here, to listen.
*talk to her, let her know what this is doing to you, and beg for extra help or support. Is there respite care for either/both of you, available?
