So sorry to read this Carol what a time you are having …some good advice here wish I knew more about it so I could add something of value except to say we are all here sending positive thoughts x
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Carol - when the stoma nurse comes out tell her how you feel. It was sudden and you weren’t expecting it and you would like to talk to someone in a similar position. I am sure she can find someone near you.
When you think about it, as you age it is much easier to deal with something on your “front” rather than round the back. That’s what my Mum said anyway.
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so sorry to hear you are struggling what a terrible shock for you . Wishing you strength and healing as the days go on
You need some comfort and some love Carol, not advice on what to do next etc but just some comfort and love
Poor Tony isn’t able to give it to you but try to take some comfort in knowing that he would if he were well and understood and that he’s spared worrying about you
I don’t know how is illness has affected him but Alzeimers patients are often able to show love even if they don’t understand situations.
Maybe just tell him you’re sad and need a cuddle without going into details of your illness, if that’s something he could do, it might help both of you
I know you said your family have been brilliant but I wonder if you’ve been putting on a brave face? Could you tell the ones your closest to how you’re really feeling and ask them to come see you and give some emotional support? Or maybe a daily phone call?
And if you are very down remember the Samaritans are always there to listen
I don’t know if you’re on Facebook but when you feel up to it the Coloscopy U.K. support group does look as if it could be quite good. 11 thousand members and 20 plus posts a day
https://m.facebook.com/groups/colostomyassociation2011/?ref=share
Their website is full of good information too
On a personal level I’d just like to say how much I enjoy your company on this forum. You are kindly, intelligent and fun and I enjoy your posts and I’m genuinely sorry this is happening to you
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I’ve been in touch with Coloscopy U.K & discovered there’s a group not far from me.
When I’m feeling better I’ll go along to their meeting…
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People said that personifying a stoma with a given name helped it ‘become more of a friend, a part of the family’, or even ‘part of me’. It has ‘a mind of its own’ and ‘can be praised or shouted at when we have accidents’, as ‘when she kicks off, everybody shouts “shut up Lily”’.
LULU 
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this dreadful time Carol. Like others on here I can’t really offer advice about the stoma but I can send my support and very best wishes to you and the hope that you will be feeling more positive soon and more able to cope. You are a strong woman and I know that you will not let this bring you down for too long. Hopefully the Coloscopy UK group will be a strong source of support for you.
Re: Naming my stoma.
Paula, my lovely daughter in law asked me if I’d let her name it.
I said ‘go on then’ She comes out with Betty!
Paula says she’s Betty the hero because she saved my life.
I just call her stinky Betty!
I have felt the warmth from all you lovely people and reading your remarks has made me feel a bit better…
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Hello Carol I’m so sorry to read about your serious operation.
I wish there was more l could do to help other than sending my sympathy and best wishes for your recovery…
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How are you doing now Carol?
I think I’m ok thanks RR.
Physically I feel quite fit - wouldn’t know I’d had major surgery 3 months ago. No pain or anything.
I think the fact that I’ve been talking antidepressants since my car smash in Dec 22 has helped me cope in this situation.
Coping with ‘Betty’ is just routine now but we’ve had one nasty nighttime mishap which I will leave to your imagination!!
Currently I am feeling more cheerful in myself. I think this is mainly due to the stoma group coffee morning I went to last week. I sat next to a lovely lady who was so friendly & gave me much help & encouragement. There was also another lady who joined us in conversation later & she was lovely too.
I can’t wait to see them again at next months meeting. I think these people will be a lifeline for me.
I’m on the point of restarting my fitness classes & swimming so that has cheered me up as well.
My life is getting slowly back to normal. I don’t even think about Betty now unless she needs changing but it seems a bit daunting when I think she’s with me for life!
I’m lucky to be alive so it’s a small price to pay.
Thanks again for thinking about me RR. x
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I’m pleased to read everything is going well for you Carol. 
You have braved yourself through a lot of upsets over the years and your strength has carried you through. Well done!
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Thanks Mags. x
Wow! What a positive post Carol. Well done you. People in a similar situation can be a massive boost to your wellbeing.
When Mum first had surgery and colostomy due to bowel cancer they said they had arranged for someone to come and chat to her in hospital if she would like that. A very young woman in a tiny little mini dress came to her bedside and introduced herself. She had recently had a baby as late in her pregnancy they discovered she had a problem similar to yours Carol. They said she would have to have the baby early as they needed to operate immediately. So she had pregnancy, a newborn, surgery and a colostomy bag to deal with. She was amazingly cheerful and helped Mum no end.
I hope you are getting all your bags etc sent to you. I thought the air sprays, adhesive remover sprays and blue disposal bags were all great and Mum got used to them quite quickly.
So pleased you are doing well Carol. Xx
Hey Carol so pleased that your life is going from good to great, I think we would all be surprised byt the number of people who have a stoma or ileostomy. Because unless the erson chooses to tell you why would you know.
The group sounds like a Godsend. Way to Go Carol.
Agree, a very positive post from Carol. I am so glad the support group is giving just that, much needed support and encouragement. Way to go.
I’m pleased that you are more cheerful - that’s a plus. As is your new social group!
Well done Carol you are very brave 
Well done Carol, glad that you feel positive about it and that you’re doing well.
Thanks everybody. x