Limericks. (New)

Now Carol has made us all sad
Be more like Polyanna and be glad

Now Carol has made us all sad
Be more like Polyanna and be glad
Us old dogs are still going

Now Carol has made us all sad
Be more like Polyanna and be glad
Us old dogs are still going
And life just keeps flowing

Now Carol has made us all sad
Be more like Polyanna and be glad
Us old dogs are still going
And life just keeps flowing
Cos we’re bonkers and totally mad

A randy old man from St Ives

A randy old man from St Ives
Has had half a dozen young wives

A randy old man from St Ives
Has had half a dozen young wives
He regrets they were’nt his

A randy old man from St Ives
Has had half a dozen young wives
He regrets they weren’t his
Only one who was called Liz

A randy old man from St Ives
Has had half a dozen young wives
He regrets they weren’t his
Only one who was called Liz
The other five suffered with Hives.

They itched and they scratched all day long

They itched and they scratched all day long
So they sent for some cream from Hong Kong

They itched and they scratched all day long
So they sent for some cream from Hong Kong
It was green and smelt funny

They itched and they scratched all day long
So they sent for some cream from Hong Kong
It was green and smelt funny
And it made their noses runny

They itched and they scratched all day long
So they sent for some cream from Hong Kong
It was green and smelt funny
And it made their noses runny
So what, they got it for a song.

Within hours the symptoms had gone

Within hours the symptoms had gone
But still there remained a pong

Within hours the symptoms had gone
But still there remained a pong
“What can that be” somebody said

Within hours the symptoms had gone
But still there remained a pong
“What can that be” somebody said
I reckon old Harry’s wet the bed

Within hours the symptoms had gone
But still there remained a pong
“What can that be” somebody said
I reckon old Harry’s wet the bed
I bet that was him all along.

The Jubilee weekend is here