Get up said Mrs Claus I’ve an idea
Christmas is back on, never fear
I have made a new sack
It fits well on my back
Keep it safe from the mice for next year!
There was a young woman from Poole
There was a young woman from Poole
Who once dug up a precious jewel
There was a young woman from Poole
Who once dug up a precious jewel
As it came out the earth
She wondered it’s worth
There was a young woman from Poole
Who once dug up a precious jewel
As it came out the earth
She wondered it’s worth
But it turned out to be junk from Blackpool
On a trip to the seaside one day
On a trip to the seaside one day
It poured down with rain I must say
On a trip to the seaside one day
It poured down with rain I must say
So I retreated to the pub
On a trip to the seaside one day
It poured down with rain I must say
So I retreated to the pub
Some refer to as “The Hub”
On a trip to the seaside one day
It poured down with rain I must say
So I retreated to the pub
Some refer to as “The Hub”
And bumped into my old friend Kay.
“Hi, Good to see you” she said
“Hi, Good to see you” she said
“Especially as I thought you were dead”
“Hi, good to see you” she said
“Especially as I thought you were dead”
If wishes could kill
“Hi, good to see you” she said
“Especially as I thought you were dead”
If wishes could kill
She’d not be sitting there still
“Hi, good to see you” she said
“Especially as I thought you were dead”
If wishes could kill
She’d not be sitting there still
So I kept my eyes straight ahead
Then, rising, I turned to the left
Then, rising, I turned to the left
Just in time to witness a theft
Then, rising, I turned to the left
Just in time to witness a theft
A man picked a pocket
Then, rising, I turned to the left
Just in time to witness a theft
A man picked a pocket
Disabled a light socket
Then, rising, I turned to the left
Just in time to witness a theft
A man picked a pocket
Disabled a light socket
Leaving the clientele bereft
Last night I went out in disguise
Last night I went out in disguise
With two holes in a mask for my eyes
Last night I went out in disguise
With two holes in a mask for my eyes
My tail was a’draggin’
Last night I went out in disguise
With two holes in a mask for my eyes
My tail was a’draggin’
But I still kept it waggin’
Last night I went out in disguise
With two holes in a mask for my eyes
My tail was a’draggin’
But I still kept it waggin’
Until it got caught in my thighs
With a clash I fell onto my knees