A voice on the phone said Oh Fred
Somebody told me you were dead
Don’t be so daft said Fred
I just fancied a day in my bed.
A voice on the phone said Oh Fred
Somebody told me you were dead
Don’t be so daft said Fred
I just fancied a day in my bed.
I’m still here so take it as read
The phone then went dead in his hand
The phone then went dead in his hand
so he went for a walk in the sand
The phone then went dead in his hand
so he went for a walk in the sand
He walked on the pier
The phone then went dead in his hand
So he went for a walk in the sand
He waked on the pier
And fell off the end, Oh dear
The phone then went dead in his hand
So he went for a walk in the sand
He waked on the pier
And fell off the end, Oh dear
And now he’s living in La-La Land 
It’s been a funny old day today
It’s been a funny old day today
When nothing is going my way
It’s been a funny old day today
When nothing is going my way,
Might go for a drive
It’s been a funny old day today
When nothing is going my way,
Might go for a drive
Until about five
It’s been a funny old day today
When nothing is going my way,
Might go for a drive
Until about five
then made toast without any delay!
A black and white cat named Claude
A black and white cat named Claude
One day was feeling quite bored
A black and white cat named Claude
One day was feeling quite bored
Then as he sat in the sun
A black and white cat named Claude
One day was feeling quite bored
Then as he sat in the sun
with a nice Tuna bun
A black and white cat named Claude
One day was feeling quite bored
Then as he sat in the sun
With a nice Tuna bun
A Bull attacked, Claude was gored.
Would you like to start the next one, EZ?
Ok
I remember my last dance in Paris
I remember my last dance in Paris
It was a Tango with sophisticated Harris
I remember my last dance in Paris
It was a tango with sophisticated Harris
We danced till the dawn
I remember my last dance in Paris
It was a tango with sophisticated Harris
We danced till the dawn
And then he was gone
I remember my last dance in Paris
It was a tango with sophisticated Harris
We danced till the dawn
And then he was gone
So I danced with the young Anna Faris