Limericks. (New)

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4741

To my relief there arrived the coastguard
Who declared that tourists should be barred
So too, those who come by rubber boat

4742

To my relief there arrived the coastguard
Who declared that tourists should be barred
So too, those who come by rubber boat
Trying their best to stay afloat

4743

To my relief there arrived the coastguard
Who declared that tourists should be barred
So too, those who come by rubber boat
Trying their best to stay afloat
But mending the punctures is hard


As the Nightingale sang her song

4744

As the nightingale sang her song
A drunk man sang along

4745

As the nightingale sang her song
A drunk man sang along
A duet they sang

4746

As the nightingale sang her song
A drunk man sang along
A duet they sang
But then his phone rang

4747

As the nightingale sang her song
A drunk man sang along
A duet they sang
But then his phone rang
And the poor bird was very soon gone.

The drunk man then answered his call

4748

The drunk man then answered his call
But tripped on a cat and had a great fall

4749

The drunk man the answered his call
But tripped on a cat and had a great fall
Someone nicked his phone

4750

The drunk man the answered his call
But tripped on a cat and had a great fall
Someone nicked his phone
And he awoke aith a groan

4751

The drunk man the answered his call
But tripped on a cat and had a great fall
Someone nicked his phone
And he awoke with a groan
So all he could do was bawl

He reported the theft to the cops

4752

He reported the theft to the cops
But they were all out down the shops

4753

He reported the theft to the cops
But they were all out down the shops
It was their lunch break

4754

He reported the theft to the cops
But they were all out down the shops
It was their lunch break
Having a Greggs steak bake

4755

He reported the theft to the cops
But they were all out down the shops
It was their lunch break
Having a Greggs steak bake
And trying on new Flip Flops.

So he got up and staggered home

4756

So he got up and staggered home
Hoping he wouldn’t be home alone

4757

So he got up and staggered home
Hoping he wouldn’t be home alone
But then he saw May

4758

So he got up and staggered home
Hoping he wouldn’t be home alone
But then he saw May
Selling herself to those who could pay

4759

So he got up and staggered home
Hoping he wouldn’t be home alone
But then he saw May
Selling herself to those who could pay
She looked tired and like an old crone.

At that point a sailor came by

4760

At that point a sailor came by
And he gave old May the eye