If you ever see Mups after dark
While out with the dogs in the park
Give her a smile
If you ever see Mups after dark
While out with the dogs in the park
Give her a smile
Then run for a mile
If you ever see Mups after dark
While out with the dogs in the park
Give her a smile
Then run for a mile
Before her dogs start to bark.
I have so much ironing to do
May had so much ironing to do
And housework and cleaning too
Then a friend called and said
May had so much ironing to do
And housework and cleaning too
Then a friend called and said
Can you do mine instead
May had so much ironing to do
And housework and cleaning too
Then a friend called and said
Can you do mine instead
I’ve locked meself in the loo. 
I could do with a handyman here
I could do with a handyman here
Said Mups drinking her beer
I could do with a handyman here
My D.I.Y. Skills are rubbish I fear
Whoops - Judd just beat you Tezza.
I could do with a handyman here
Said Mups drinking her beer
They all let me down
I could do with a handyman here
Said Mups drinking her beer
They all let me down
And I’m in my nightgown
I could do with a handyman here
Said Mups drinking her beer
They all let me down
And I’m in my nightgown
And don’t feel full of good cheer!
There once was a lady called Mia
There once was a lady called Mia
Who went on a trip to Korea
There once was a lady called Mia
Who went on a trip to Korea
She copped off Kim Jong Un
There once was a lady called Mia
Who went on a trip to Korea
She copped off Kim Jong Un
But before the affair had begun
There once was a lady called Mia
Who went on a trip to Korea
She copped off Kim Jong Un
But before the affair had begun
She found out he was a raving queer
Mia left her new love
Mia left her new love
And prayed for help from above
Mia left her new love
And prayed for help from above
But help came there none
Mia left her new love
And prayed for help from above
But help came there none
Which wasn’t much fun
Mia left her new love
And prayed for help from above
But help came there none
Which wasn’t much fun
So she never found her true love.
While having a Pizza one day
While having a Pizza one day
My face suddenly turned grey