A man came and sat on the wall
And like Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
But there were no real men
Just barbie and ken
A man came and sat on the wall
And like Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
But there were no real men
Just barbie and ken
The two of them wrapped in a shawl.
Driving along a dark country lane
Driving along a dark country lane
My wheel got stuck down a drain
Driving along a dark country lane
My wheel got stuck down a drain
Not a soul in sight
Driving along a dark country lane
My wheel got stuck down a drain
Not a soul in sight
On this dark moonless night
Driving along a dark country lane
My wheel got stuck down a drain
Not a soul in sight
On this dark moonless night
So I did it myself, what a pain!!
A mechanic was mending my car
A mechanic was mending my car
When he did something quite bizarre
A mechanic was mending my car
When he did something quite bizarre
He nicked all my wheels
A mechanic was mending my car
When he did something quite bizarre
He nicked all my wheels
To buy some high heels
A mechanic was mending my car
When he did something quite bizarre
He nicked all my wheels
To buy some high heels
Then chatted me up at the bar
My old boots are so full of mud
My old boots are so full of mud
I swear I could grow a spud
My old boots are so full of mud
I swear I could grow a spud
Plus a carrot or two
My old boots are so full of mud
I swear I could grow a spud
Plus a carrot or two
And an onion for stew
My old boots are so full of mud
I swear I could grow a spud
Plus a carrot or two
And an onion for stew
Perhaps, but they won’t taste so good
A pervy parson called Paul
A pervy parson called Paul
Was hoping for sex to befall
I’ll wait for this one to finish.
A pervy parson called Paul
Was hoping for sex to befall
But there was none to be had
A pervy parson called Paul
Was hoping for sex to befall
But there was none to be had
So he felt a bit sad
(daren’t put what I was going to) 
A pervy parson called Paul
Was hoping for sex to befall
But there was none to be had
So he felt a bit sad
So decided to end it all
He climbed to the top of a tower