There was a lady from Calcutta
Whose son was a bit of a nutter
There was a lady from Calcutta
Whose son was a bit of a nutter
All day he would eat
There was a lady from Calcutta
Whose son was a bit of a nutter
All day he would eat
While he bathed his feet
There was a lady from Calcutta
Whose son was a bit of a nutter
All day he would eat
While he bathed his feet
Eating some brown bread and butter
A man bought himself a new boat
A man bought himself a new boat
But he couldn’t get the bugger to float
A man bought himself a new boat
But he couldn’t get the bugger to float
So he bunged up the holes
A man bought himself a new boat
But he couldn’t get the bugger to float
So he bunged up the holes
With his pair of Scholls
A man bought himself a new boat
But he couldn’t get the bugger to float
So he bunged up the holes
With his pair of Scholls
And a bloody great horn from a goat.
A man bought himself a new boat
But he couldn’t get the bugger to float
So he bunged up the holes
With his pair of Scholls
Then tried it out on the moat.
Whoops, beat me to it EZ.
Your turn. 
Oh . . he’s gone.
EZ has gone off to bed
EZ has gone off to bed
Is he with the lady he wed?
Ez has gone off to bed
Is he with the lady he wed?
Who else would it be?
Ez has gone off to bed
Is he with the lady he wed?
Who else would it be?
Well you can tell me 
Ez has gone off to bed
Is he with the lady he wed?
Who else would it be?
Well you can tell me
He would lure no one else he said.
Judd’s been to Harrowgate y’know
Judd’s been to Harrowgate y’know
But he said they had sun and not snow 
Judd’s been to Harrowgate y’know
But he said they had sun not snow
Did he bring us a gift?
Judd’s been to Harrowgate y’know
But he said they had sun not snow
Did he bring us a gift?
Does he need a lift ?
Judd’s been to Harrowgate y’know
But he said they had sun not snow
Did he bring us a gift?
Does he need a lift ?
The answer to last two lines is no.