The ferry boat sailed off at dawn
But first his watch he needed to pawn
He got just a fiver
So approached his friend Ivor
Then lunched over a few prawn
When back in France he happened to see
When back in France he happened to see
A man by the Seine having a pee
When back in France he happened to see
A man by the Seine having a pee
But a Seagull swooped low
When back in France he happened to see
A man by the Seine having a pee
But a Seagull swooped low
And interrupted the flow
When back in France he happened to see
A man by the Seine having a pee
But a Seagull swooped low
And interrupted the flow
And he pee’d down his leg Hehe.
A lady walked past and did titter
A lady walked past and did titter
Which made him feel just a touch bitter
A lady walked past and did titter
Which made him feel just a touch bitter
“It’s not funny” said he
A lady walked past and did titter
Which made him feel just a touch bitter
“It’s not funny” said he
“I was desperate for a wee”
A lady walked past and did titter
Which made him feel just a touch bitter
“It’s not funny” said he
“I was desperate for a wee”
So 'oppit, you and your critter.
He decided to find a cafe
He decided to find a cafe
As he got off the boat in Calais
He decided to find a cafe
As he got off the boat in Calais
He found a Bistro
He decided to find a cafe
As he got off the boat in Calais
He found a Bistro
Next door to a disco
(Hi Gilly) 
He decided to find a cafe
As he got off the boat in Calais
He found a Bistro
Next door to a disco
Where he met a mademoiselle named Renee
For him it was love at first sight
He decided to find a cafe
As he got off the boat in Calais
He found a Bistro
Next door to a disco
Sat down and ordered without delay
When glancing outside he saw a man bump
When glancing outside he saw a man bump
Into a ladder, it caused a huge lump
When glancing outside he saw a man bump
Into a ladder, it caused a huge lump
He wobbled and weaved
When glancing outside he saw a man bump
Into a ladder, it caused a huge lump
He wobbled and weaved
And his teeth, he retrieved
When glancing outside he saw a man bump
Into a ladder, it caused a huge lump
He wobbled and weaved
And his teeth, he retrieved
Then bumped into an old frump.
Now back to Tango’s one (10813) that got left out . . .
For him it was love at first sight
He didn’t want to leave her that night
For him it was love at first sight
He didn’t want to leave her that night
So he grabbed her and said
For him it was love at first sight
He didn’t want to leave her that night
So he grabbed her and said
“Ma cherie, shall we wed?”