Limerick (Part 4)

Mum couldn’t believe what she read
The text really filled her with dread
It started “Dear Mum”
I’ve done something dumb

Mum couldn’t believe what she read
The text really filled her with dread
It started “Dear Mum”
I’ve done something dumb
I’ve followed my heart, not my head.

Return home at once, he was told

Return home at once, he was told
His reply was a sight to behold

Return home at once he was told
His reply was a sight to behold
I have ironing for you Mum

Return home at once he was told
His reply was a sight to behold
I have ironing for you Mum
And my washing when that’s done

Return home at once he was told
His reply was a sight to behold
I have ironing for you Mum
And my washing when that’s done
Plus a secret never to be told.

His Mum was not pleased at all

His Mum was not pleased at all
Especially as he’d traipsed mud into her hall

His Mum was not pleased at all
Especially as he’d traipsed mud into her hall
She threw up her hands

His Mum was not pleased at all
Especially as he’d traipsed mud into her hall
She threw up her hands
And asked him his plans

His Mum was not pleased at all
Especially as he’d traipsed mud into her hall
She threw up her hands
And asked him his plans
He cried out “I’ve answered the call”

His mum said for goodness sake stop

His mum said for goodness sake stop
Be useful and go to the shop

His mum said for goodness sake stop
Be useful and go to the shop
I need milk and bread

His mum said for goodness sake stop
Be useful and go to the shop
I need milk and bread
And a paper for Fred

His mum said for goodness sake stop
Be useful and go to the shop
I need milk and bread
And a paper for Fred
I’m so tired I’m sure I will drop

Rounding the corner a vision I saw

Rounding the corner a vision I saw
An Indian Chief with his beautiful Squaw

Rounding the corner a vision I saw
An Indian Chief with his beautiful Squaw
Running Bear was her name

Rounding the corner a vision I saw
An Indian Chief with his beautiful Squaw
Running Bear was her name
Running bare was her game

Rounding the corner a vision I saw
An Indian Chief with his beautiful Squaw
Running Bear was her name
Running bare was her game
In fact she was just a whore

For her services she charged

For her services she charged
And her fees were very large

For her services she charged
And her fees were very large
She only took cash