Bert thought he’d just take a chance
Bert thought he’d just take a chance
And hope she’d accept his advance
Bert thought he’d just take a chance
And hope she’d accept his advance
But his face she slapped
Bert thought he’d just take a chance
And hope she’d accept his advance
But his face she slapped
So his idea he scrapped
Bert thought he’d just take a chance
And hope she’d accept his advance
But his face she slapped
So his idea he scrapped
And saw no hope of romance 
The lady felt sad & abused
The lady felt sad and abused
And was heard to cry " I feel i’ve been used!"
The lady felt sad and abused
And was heard to cry " I feel i’ve been used!"
“I shall put in a claim”
Deleted
The lady felt sad and abused
And was heard to cry " I feel i’ve been used!"
“I shall put in a claim”
Get five minutes of fame
The lady felt sad and abused
And was heard to cry " I feel i’ve been used!"
“I shall put in a claim”
Get five minutes of fame
Then watch the media reviews
When finally the hooplah died down
The lady felt sad and abused
And was heard to cry " I feel i’ve been used!"
“I shall put in a claim”
Get five minutes of fame
Although the accused will not be amused.
To the wedding should I wear a hat?
We already finished that one Tango. 
The lady felt sad and abused
And was heard to cry " I feel i’ve been used!"
“I shall put in a claim”
Get five minutes of fame
Then watch the media reviews
When finally the hooplah died down
Bert again saw the lady in town
oops, sorry
When finally the hooplah died down
Bert again saw the lady in town
But he gave her a body swerve
When finally the hooplah died down
Bert again saw the lady in town
But he gave her a body swerve
Under his breath it could be heard
When finally the hooplah died down
Bert again saw the lady in town
But he gave her a body swerve
Under his breath it could be heard
That he thought her a bit of a clown
An angler was fishing for for trout
An angler was fishing for for trout
When he suddenly heard a loud shout
An angler was fishing for trout
When he suddenly heard a loud shout
A gamekeeper said
An angler was fishing for trout
When he suddenly heard a loud shout
Someone fell with a splash
An angler was fishing for trout
When he suddenly heard a loud shout
A gamekeeper said
Stop that, or you’re dead.
An angler was fishing for trout
When he suddenly heard a loud shout
A gamekeeper said
Stop that, or you’re dead.
cried the angler “what’s that all about”
The gamekeeper said “ now look ere”