Is our hot weather cooling right down?
Asked EZ with a big frown
I must cover my big hairy chest
And buy myself a thermal vest
And a nice new warm dressing gown.
When Arthur asked Elsie to dinner
When Arthur asked Elsie to dinner
He knew she wasn’t really a winner
When Arthur asked Elsie to dinner
He knew she wasn’t really a winner
So he said “Let’s go Dutch”
When Arthur asked Elsie to dinner
He knew she wasn’t really a winner
So he said “Let’s go Dutch”
She didn’t like that very much
When Arthur asked Elsie to dinner
He knew she wasn’t really a winner
So he said “Let’s go Dutch”
She didn’t like that very much
Cos in truth she had tried to get thinner
Elsie’s diet was boring and bland
Elsie’s diet was boring and bland
You could count calories on the fingers of one hand
Elsie’s diet was boring and bland
You could count calories on the fingers of one hand
Sod it she said, I’m having a pie
Elsie’s diet was boring and bland
You could count calories on the fingers of one hand
Sod it she said, I’m having a pie
At barkeep, “A pint, I’m so very dry”
Elsie’s diet was boring and bland
You could count calories on the fingers of one hand
Sod it she said, I’m having a pie
At barkeep, “A pint, I’m so very dry”
And waved a gesture so very grand.
Betty stayed up so late one night
Betty stayed up so late one night
A bang on the window gave her a fright
Betty stayed up so late one night
A bang on the window gave her a fright
She quickly dialled 999
Betty stayed up so late one night
A bang on the window gave her a fright
She quickly dialled 999
But the police said it’s fine
Betty stayed up so late one night
A bang on the window gave her a fright
She quickly dialled 999
But the police said it’s fine
'Twas a drunk in the nude - what a sight!
My security light won’t work
My security light won’t work
Just needs a bit of a jerk
My security light won’t work
Just needs a bit of a jerk
To see what’s wrong
My security light won’t work
Just needs a bit of a jerk
To see what’s wrong
Shouldn’t take long
My security light won’t work
Just needs a bit of a jerk
To see what’s wrong
Shouldn’t take long
Else it’ll make me berserk
Can’t seem to shake the thought
Can’t seem to shake the thought
That there’s something expensive I bought
Can’t seem to shake the thought
That there’s something expensive I bought
Could not say “no”
Can’t seem to shake the thought
That there’s something expensive I bought
Could not say “no”
So i’m thinking i’ll show