One dark and rainy night
I recall closing the door tight
But an almighty great bang
Followed by a loud clang
One dark and rainy night
I recall closing the door tight
But an almighty bang
Made me yell “Dang”
You were a bit too late, Tezza. 
One dark and rainy night
I recall closing the door tight
But an almighty great bang
Followed by a loud clang
Made my heart miss a beat with fright.
Do you ever wish that you could …
Do you ever wish that you could
Have eaten that last piece of pud
Do you ever wish that you could
Have eaten that last piece of pud
But then you’d get fat
Do you ever wish that you could
Have eaten that last piece of pud
But then you’d get fat
With a shape like a vat
Do you ever wish that you could
Have eaten that last piece of pud
But then you’d get fat
With a shape like a vat
Or worse, a tree trunk of wood.
Never in my wildest dreams
Never in my wildest dreams
Could I dislike custard creams
Never in my wildest dreams
Could I dislike custard creams
Their crunchy, sweet taste
Never in my wildest dreams
Could I dislike custard creams
Their crunchy, sweet taste
I gobble in haste
Never in my wildest dreams
Could I dislike custard creams
Their crunchy, sweet taste
I gobble in haste
I guess i’m an addict it seems.
No matter how hard that I try
No matter how hard that I try
I don’t earn enough to get by
No matter how hard that I try
I don’t earn enough to get by
So i sought out a loan
No matter how hard that I try
I don’t earn enough to get by
So I sought out a loan
Cos my savings I’ve blown
No matter how hard that I try
I don’t earn enough to get by
So I sought out a loan
Cos my savings I’ve blown
I think I’m about to cry. 
I would like to know why men snore
I would like to know why men snore
To annoy you wimmin that’s what for.
I would like to know why men snore
To annoy you wimmin that’s what for
Be it daytime or night
I would like to know why men snore
To annoy you wimmin that’s what for
Be it daytime or night
'Tis never alright