Evening all, said the cop with a grin
As he swayed and spilled a very large Gin
Evening all, said the cop with a grin
As he swayed and spilled a very large Gin
“There’s been a murder”, Taggart said
Evening all, said the cop with a grin
As he swayed and spilled a very large gin
“You’re under a vest” he said sounding drunk
Evening all, said the cop with a grin
As he swayed and spilled a very large Gin
“There’s been a murder”, Taggart said
A burglar has been found dead
Evening all, said the cop with a grin
As he swayed and spilled a very large Gin
“There’s been a murder”, Taggart said
A burglar has been found dead
T’was old Tom Smith - not his twin.
Poor old Tom, how very sad
Poor old Tom, how very sad
Got fired into space from a launching pad.
Poor old Tom, how very sad
Got fired into space from a launching pad
As he flew past the moon
Poor old Tom, how very sad
Got fired into space from a launching pad
As he flew past the moon
Headed towards the sun
Poor old Tom, how very sad
Got fired into space from a launching pad
As he flew past the moon
Headed towards the sun
He feared the landing might be bad.
Once I wished upon a star
Once I wished upon a star
That wish didn’t get me very far
Once I wished upon a star
That wish didn’t get me very far
Bad things happened to me that night
Once I wished upon a star
That wish didn’t get me very far
Bad things happened to me that night
As Twinks and Mups came into sight
Once I wished upon a star
That wish didn’t get me very far
Bad things happened to me that night
As Twinks and Mups came into sight
And now you wonder why we spar? 
On a moonlit night last May
On a moonlit night last May
Took a wrong turn, lost my way
On a moonlit night last May
Took a wrong turn, lost my way
Mups was reading the map
On a moonlit night last May
Took a wrong turn, lost my way
Mups was reading the map
When she gave Judd a slap
On a moonlit night last May
Took a wrong turn,lost my way
Mups was reading the map
When she gave Judd a slap
I bet he’ll never forget that day.
Shall I start the next one EZ? 
One dark and rainy night
One dark and rainy night
I recall closing the door tight
One dark and rainy night
I recall closing the door tight
But an almighty great bang