Limerick (Part 4)

While reading the news Fred’s mind was awhirl
Whether to have a Mars bar or a twirl
‘I might have them both’

While reading the news Fred’s mind was awhirl
Whether to have a Mars bar or a twirl
‘I might have them both’
And turn into a Sloth

While reading the news Fred’s mind was awhirl
Whether to have a Mars bar or a twirl
‘I might have them both’
And turn into a Sloth
So tasty they make my toes curl

When placing a bet on horse racing today

When placing a bet on horse racing today
I thought back Bobtailed Nag or the Bay

When placing a bet on horse racing today
I thought back Bobtailed Nag or the Bay
But neither was placed

When placing a bet on horse racing today
I thought back Bobtailed Nag or the Bay
But neither was placed
Fortunate, as the Nag was disgraced

When placing a bet on horse racing today
I thought back Bobtailed Nag or the Bay
But neither was placed
Fortunate, as the Nag was disgraced
For frolicking nude in the hay.

As I got to the top of the stairs

As I got to the top of the stairs
I across three large bears

As I got to the top of the stairs
I met with three very large bears
I shouted out loud

As I got to the top of the stairs
I met with three very large bears
I shouted out loud
Beat my chest, Tarzan proud

As I got to the top of the stairs
I met with three very large bears
I shouted out loud
Beat my chest, Tarzan proud
And insisted they pay for their fares.

A CTU agent called Bauer

A CTU agent called Bauer
Decided to have a cold shower

A CTU agent called Bauer
Decided to have a cold shower
His phone gave a beep

A CTU agent called Bauer
Decided to have a cold shower
His phone gave a beep
Into action he did leap

A CTU agent called Bauer
Decided to have a cold shower
His phone gave a beep
Into action he did leap
A man of action and power!

Today whilst sat on a bench

Today whilst sat on a bench
I wondered what its like to be French

Today whilst sat on a bench
I wondered what its like to be French
‘‘Hon he hon’’ thought I

Today whilst sat on a bench
I wondered what its like to be French
‘‘Hon he hon’’ thought I
Time for an onion pie

Today whilst sat on a bench
I wondered what its like to be French
‘‘Hon he hon’’ thought I
Time for an onion pie
And some perfume to cover the stench.

A woman with unfeasably large feet

A woman with unfeasably large feet
Went shopping for something to eat