In Judd’s garden lives a big frog
Which in a mad moment Mups attempted to snog
He is handsome, but green
In Judd’s garden lives a big frog
Which in a mad moment Mups attempted to snog
He is handsome, but green
Is that Judd that you mean?
In Judd’s garden lives a big frog
Which our Mups attempted to snog
He is handsome, but green
Is that Judd that you mean?
Or a creature you’d find in a bog
A jet setting star from New York
A jet setting star from New York
Was stabbed in the arm by a fork
A jet setting star from New York
Was stabbed in the arm by a fork
So she picked up her plate
A jet setting star from New York
Was stabbed in the arm by a fork
So she picked up her plate
Used for the food she just ate
A jet setting star from New York
Was stabbed in the arm by a fork
So she picked up her plate
Used for the food she just ate
And bashed him all the way to York.
While Bertie sat watching the sea
While Bertie sat watching the sea
A woman offered sex for a fee
While Bertie sat watching the sea
A woman offered sex for a fee
He said “I’ve a tenner”
While Bertie sat watching the sea
A woman offered sex for a fee
He said “I’ve a tenner”
She said “I’m Morwenna”
While Bertie sat watching the sea
A woman offered sex for a fee
He said “I’ve a tenner”
She said “I’m Morwenna”
But then he needed a wee. 
Bertie soon rushed back by her side
Bertie soon rushed back by her side
Waving his tenner with pride
Bertie soon rushed back by her side
Waving his tenner with pride
He fondled her hair
Bertie soon rushed back by her side
Waving his tenner with pride
He fondled her hair
She yelled" Have a care!"
Bertie soon rushed back by her side
Waving his tenner with pride
He fondled her hair
She yelled" Have a care!"
Turned him out and away he did ride
Why raise a hand to be heard
Why raise a hand to be heard
When you can just shout out a word
Why raise a hand to be heard
When you can just shout out a word
Or sit and finger a mouse
Why raise a hand to be heard
When you can just shout out a word
Or sit and finger a mouse
If you have one in your house
Why raise a hand to be heard
When you can just shout out a word
Or sit and finger a mouse
If you have one in your house
What? Finger a mouse in your house? Absurd!
While reading the news Fred’s mind was awhirl
While reading the news Fred’s mind was awhirl
Whether to have a Mars bar or a twirl