It’s the start of another new week
And to be LTP I will seek
But you haven’t a hope
I’m sure we will cope
Not when the men’s team are so weak 
I wonder what happens down in the glen
I wonder what happens down in the glen
Something strange at half past ten
I wonder what happens down in the glen
Something strange at half past ten
I heard a noise, and saw three men
I wonder what happens down in the glen
Something strange at half past ten
I heard a noise, and saw three men
They were Tom, Dick and Ben
I wonder what happens down in the glen
Something strange at half past ten
I heard a noise, and saw three men
They were Tom, Dick and Ben
I think they’ll be back, but I don’t know when.
Whilst sitting on Blackpool Pier
Whilst sitting on Blackpool Pier
I was suddenly overcome with fear
Whilst sitting on Blackpool Pier
I was suddenly overcome with fear
The tide was so high
Whilst sitting on Blackpool Pier
I was suddenly overcome with fear
The tide was so high
It sprayed on my pie
Whilst sitting on Blackpool Pier
I was suddenly overcome with fear
The tide was so high
It sprayed on my pie
And some landed in me beer
While enjoying a real ale
While enjoying a real ale
I saw Fred, who looked rather pale
While enjoying a real ale
I saw Fred, who looked rather pale
Had he seen a ghost?
While enjoying a real ale
I saw Fred, who looked rather pale
Had he seen a ghost?
Beneath the lamppost
While enjoying a real ale
I saw Fred, who looked rather pale
Had he seen a ghost?
Beneath the lamppost
No. He’d just sat on a nail. 
I feel we’re due for a storm
I feel we’re due for a storm
These days, that’s the norm
I feel we’re due for a storm
These days, that’s the norm.
Never fear,for t’is said
I feel we’re due for a storm
These days, that’s the norm.
Never fear,for t’is said
You’ll be safe in your bed
Just don’t get up till it’s gawn
My chickens ain’t laying no eggs
My chickens ain’t laying no eggs
Are they on their last legs?