Taking mum shopping tomorn
Bet I come home feeling worn
I’ll get a pressy for Mups 
Taking mum shopping tomorn
Bet I come home feeling worn
I’ll get a pressy for Mups
Puts two fingers up 
Taking mum shopping tomorn
Bet I come home feeling worn
I’ll get a pressy for Mups
Puts two fingers up
So she stamped on my little toe’s corn!
A man who once lived in Seattle
A man who once lived in Seattle
As he walked, he made a strange rattle
A man who once lived in Seattle
As he walked, he made a strange rattle
His false teeth were loose
A man who once lived in Seattle
As he walked, he made a strange rattle
His false teeth were loose
And he looked like a Moose
A man who once lived in Seattle
As he walked, he made a strange rattle
His false teeth were loose
And he looked like a Moose
Or at least some sort of cattle
A woman who comes from Northants
A woman who comes from Northants
Thought she had ants in her pants
A woman who comes from Northants
Thought she had ants in her pants
So she had a quick search
A woman who comes from Northants
Thought she had ants in her pants
So she had a quick search
While sitting in church
A woman who comes from Northants
Thought she had ants in her pants
So she had a quick search
While sitting in church
And found 3 of her missing plants.
When Judd was having a shower
When Judd was having a shower
Using a pan scrubber his body to scour
When Judd was having a shower
Using a pan scrubber his body to scour
He dropped the soap
When Judd was having a shower
Using a pan scrubber his body to scour
He dropped the soap
Unable to cope
When Judd was having a shower
Using a pan scrubber his body to scour
He dropped the soap
Unable to cope
As his glasses steamed up for an hour
All ladies are like precious gems
All ladies are like precious gems
But still cluck and cackle like hens
All ladies are like precious gems
But still cluck and cackle like hens
But priceless we are
All ladies are like precious gems
But still cluck and cackle like hens
But priceless we are
I wouldn’t go that far