Fred went on a day trip to France
Seeking a bit of romance
But the lingo was tricky
Ended up with a brickie
Who was good at the Rumba dance!
A nice lady from my forum
A nice lady from my forum
Appealed for a bit of decorum
A nice lady from my forum
Appealed for a bit of decorum
But guess what she got
A nice lady from my forum
Appealed for a bit of decorum
But guess what she got
A right rough lot
A nice lady from my forum
Appealed for a bit of decorum
But guess what she got
A right rough lot
So she decided to leave and ignore 'em.
Have you ever sat there and thought
Have you ever sat there and thought
What Judd paid for the necklace he bought
Have you ever sat there and thought
What Judd paid for the necklace he bought
Two for ten bob
Have you ever sat there and thought
What Judd paid for the necklace he bought
Two for ten bob
But did they do the job?
Have you ever sat there and thought
What Judd paid for the necklace he bought
Two for ten bob
But did they do the job?
No. So things between us are frought! 
Whilst trying to decide what to do
Have you ever sat there and thought
What Judd paid for the necklace he bought
Two for ten bob
But did they do the job?
No, the chains were too short
While dreaming of a custard pie
Buzz off Judster!
I’d already started one!
Have you ever sat there and thought
What Judd paid for the necklace he bought
Two for ten bob
But did they do the job?
No. So things between us are frought!
Whilst trying to decide what to do
The postman brought a parcel from Hugh
Whilst trying to decide what to do
The postman brought a parcel from HugH
It was really light
Whilst trying to decide what to do
The postman brought a parcel from HugH
It was really light
And shaped like a kite
Whilst trying to decide what to do
The postman brought a parcel from HugH
It was really light
And shaped like a kite
And he’d written “With love to you.”
Right. Now I will let that Judster bloke use his one.
While dreaming of a custard pie
But in my mouth, not in my eye
While dreaming of a custard pie
But in my mouth, not in my eye
I found myself drooling
While dreaming of a custard pie
But in my mouth, not in my eye
I found myself drooling
Really? Who are you fooling
While dreaming of a custard pie
But in my mouth, not in my eye
I found myself drooling
Really? Who are you fooling
Why would I lie?
Had a nice beef curry tonight
Had a nice beef curry tonight
You’ll be trumping all through the night