A lady stood out in the rain
And watched water rise in her drain
A plumber passed by
And said with a sigh
A lady stood out in the rain
And watched water rise in her drain
A plumber passed by
And said with a sigh
Bloody 'ell, not you again
She went back inside to get dry
She went back inside to get dry
Then decided to ring Aunti Vi
She went back inside to get dry
Then decided to ring Aunti Vi
A man answered the phone
She went back inside to get dry
Then decided to ring Auntie V
A man answered the phone
With a strange sort of moan
She went back inside to get dry
Then decided to ring Auntie V
A man answered the phone
With a strange sort of moan
And in a camp voice whispered Hi ?
You just never know what to say
You just never know what to say
If an unwelcome vistor must stay
You just never know what to say
If an unwelcome vistor must stay
Aunt Hilda and beau
You just never know what to say
If an unwelcome vistor must stay
Aunt Hilda and beau
Were told to go*
*(they were told to eff off really but it didn’t rhyme) 
You just never know what to say
If an unwelcome visitor must stay
Aunt Hilda and beau
Were told to go
When I found that Aunt Hilda was gay.
When Jack took young Jill up the hill
When Jack took young Jill up the hill
He asked if she was on’t pill
When Jack took young Jill up the hill
He asked if she was on’t pill
But when Jill said no
When Jack took young Jill up the hill
He asked if she was on’t pill
But when Jill said no
And it started to snow…
When Jack took young Jill up the hill
He asked if she was on’t pill
But when Jill said no
And it started to snow…
And young Jill on the hill caught a chill.
Next one please Dongle??? 
I think Dongle is asleep;-)
Jack was forced to take on another
Jack was forced to take on another
'Twas the ex of his brother
Jack was forced to take on another
'Twas the ex of his brother
Do you mean that red head?
Jack was forced to take on another
'Twas the ex of his brother
Do you mean that red head?
She’s under the bed!
Jack was forced to take on another
'Twas the ex of his brother
Do you mean that red head?
She’s under the bed!
Oh no, that is where he left his mother!