Limerick (Part 4)

Gert was shocked and Bertie went red
You should be ashamed is what she said,
There he stood, in knickers and bra
When Gertie said you look like your Ma

Gert was shocked and Bertie went red
You should be ashamed is what she said,
There he stood, in knickers and bra
When Gertie said you look like your Ma
And I’ll tell you what - we’ll never be wed!

Gertie cried and left in a huff

Gertie cried and left in a huff
Bert smiled big and said, “That’s enough”

Gertie cried and left in a huff
Bert smiled big and said, “That’s enough”
I’ll buy a nice thong

Gertie cried and left in a huff
Bert smiled big and said, “That’s enough”
I’ll buy a nice thong
And sing a love song

Gertie cried and left in a huff
Bert smiled big and said, “That’s enough”
I’ll buy a nice thong
And sing a love song
Grow my beard back, that’s rough

But Gertie was working her mind with a plan

But Gertie was working her mind with a plan
To find herself a new man

But Gertie was working her mind with a plan
To find herself a new man
She heaved and she puffed

But Gertie was working her mind with a plan
To find herself a new man
She heaved and she puffed
With her looks she was chuffed

But Gertie was working her mind with a plan
To find herself a new man
She heaved and she puffed
With her looks she was chuffed
But her attempt went down the pan

Gertie decided to become a nun

Gertie decided to become a nun
But how would she then have fun?

Gertie decided to become a nun
But how would she then have fun?
Then a knock on the door

Gertie decided to become a nun
But how would she then have fun?
Then a knock on the door
And she fell on the floor…

Gertie decided to become a nun
But how would she then have fun?
Then a knock on the door
And she fell on the floor…
It was father O’Mally with his gun

He said, “Don’t worry it only shoots water”

He said " Don’t worry it only shoots water"
But he lied! much more than he 'oughta

He said " Don’t worry it only shoots water"
But he lied! much more than he 'oughta.
Gertie got covered in ink

He said “Don’t worry it only shoots water”
But he lied! much more than he 'oughta.
Gertie got covered in ink
Not blue but a bright shade of pink

He said “Don’t worry it only shoots water”
But he lied! much more than he 'oughta.
Gertie got covered in ink
Not blue but a bright shade of pink
Not to mention the state of her daughter

Some people just get in the way

Some people just get in the way
I get one like that every day

Some people just get in the way
I get one like that every day
Don’t swear or get cross