Birds in the garden twittering away
I’d love to know what they’re trying to say
They’re saying that Judd is the LTP
He’s beaten those wimmen, they said with glee!
Pft! He couldn’t do that for even a day. 
A friend called in for tea and a chat
A friend called in for tea and a chat
Couldn’t get rid o’ him, how about that?
A friend called in for tea and a chat
Couldn’t get rid o’ him, how about that?
He went on and on
A friend called in for tea and a chat
Couldn’t get rid o’ him, how about that?
He went on and on
Until the day was done
A friend called in for tea and a chat
Couldn’t get rid o’ him, how about that?
He went on and on
Until the day was done
And now he is asleep with my cat
Next one please Twink?
sorry I will do it now!
A lady called Mups, from Northants
A lady called Mups, from Northants
Got herself covered in ants
A lady called Mups, from Northants
Got herself covered in ants
They bit her a lot
A lady called Mups, from Northants
Got herself covered in ants
They bit her a lot
She deserved what she got
A lady called Mups, from Northants
Got herself covered in ants
They bit her a lot
She deserved what she got
She even got ants in her pants! 
(Cheeky monkeys, you two).
So off to Asda went Bert
So off to Asda went Bert
To buy a nice summer skirt
So off to Asda went Bert
To buy a nice summer skirt
He tried a few on…
So off to Asda went Bert
To buy a nice summer skirt
He tried a few on…
And a bra he did don
So off to Asda went Bert
To buy a nice summer skirt
He tried a few on…
And a bra he did don
When suddenly - in walked Gert.
Gert was shocked and Bertie went red
Gert was shocked and Bertie went red
You should be ashamed is what she said,
Gert was shocked and Bertie went red
You should be ashamed is what she said,
There he stood, in knickers and bra