There was a young copper from Ealing
Who’s left leg had little feeling
His girlfriend pinched it so hard
So he rubbed in some Lard
There was a young copper from Ealing
Who’s left leg had little feeling
His girlfriend pinched it so hard
So he rubbed in some Lard
Now the skin on his leg is peeling
There was a young woman from Leicester
There was a young woman from Leicester
Who never left rows to fester
There was a young woman from Leicester
Who never left rows to fester
But a misunderstanding one day
There was a young woman from Leicester
Who never left rows to fester
But a misunderstanding one day
When she asked a young man if he’d pay
There was a young woman from Leicester
Who never left rows to fester
But a misunderstanding one day
When she asked a young man if he’d pay
And he told her never to pester.
A donkey on the beach in Southend
A donkey on the beach in Southend
Swore he could see round the bend
A donkey on the beach in Southend
Swore he could see round a bend
So he stood still and stared
A donkey on the beach in Southend
Swore he could see round a bend
So he stood still and stared
Murmured…“Buxom, blonde-haired”
A donkey on the beach in Southend
Swore he could see round a bend
So he stood still and stared
Murmured … “Buxom, blonde-haired”
And a big whiskery kiss he did send.
In the depths of a forest in Kent
In the depths of a forest in Kent
They lived a young maiden in a tent
In the depths of a forest in Kent
There lived a young maiden in a tent
She lit a small fire
In the depths of a forest in Kent
There lived a young maiden in a tent
She lit a small fire
Causing Park Rangers some ire
In the depths of a forest in Kent
There lived a young maiden in a tent
She lit a small fire
Causing Park Rangers some ire
And got banished to Stoke on Trent.
A friendly old Elf called Dan
A friendly old elf called Dan
Declared his true love for a man
A friendly old elf called Dan
Declared his true love for a man
They had been friends for years