When I was a young lad of ten
I always looked up to the men
Till very much later
Along came a waiter
When I was a young lad of ten
I always looked up to the men
Till very much later
Along came a waiter
who said ''Oh,not you lot again!..
She’d suffered their insults before,
She’d suffered their insults before
And many times showed them the door
She’d suffered their insults before
And many times showed them the door
Then Big Bert strode in
She’d suffered their insults before
And many times showed them the door
Then Big Bert strode in
Shouting you’ll never win
She’d suffered their insults before
And many times showed them the door
Then Big Bert strode in
Shouting you’ll never win
Which frightened the mob to the core.
“ Oh thank you “ cried the young lass
“ Oh thank you “ cried the young lass
As she rubbed her poor bruised ass 
“Oh thank you “ cried the young lass
As she massaged her poor bruised ass
But the next thing she said
“Oh thank you “ cried the young lass
As she massaged her poor bruised ass
But the next thing she said
About gave him head :shock:
better than talking of jobbies *
“Oh thank you “ cried the young lass
As she massaged her poor bruised ass
But the next thing she said
About gave him head
And she quickly sat down on the grass.
As I sat by the river bank
As I sat by the river bank
I dreamed about Hilary Swank
As I sat by the river bank
I dreamed about Hilary Swank
Her warm, tender lips
As I sat by the river bank
I dreamed about Hilary Swank
Her warm, tender lips
And child bearing hips
As I sat by the river bank
I dreamed about Hilary Swank
Her warm, tender lips
And child bearing hips
I had to go home for a shower. 
Eurovision is back don’t ya know
Eurovision is back don’t ya know
But we won’t be friend - we’ll be foe
Eurovision is back don’t ya know
But we won’t be friend - we’ll be foe
We’ll be lucky to come last
Eurovision is back don’t ya know
But we won’t be friend - we’ll be foe
We’ll be lucky to come last
Nail our flag to the mast
Eurovision is back don’t ya know
But we won’t be friend - we’ll be foe
We’ll be lucky to come last
Nail our flag to the mast
We should tell 'em where to go