Limerick (Part 4)

She dusted her knees, then up she got
Didn’t know whether to cry or not

She dusted her knees, then up she got
Didn’t know whether to cry or not
Took a deep breath before she said,

She dusted her knees then up she got
Didn’t know whether to cry or not
Took a deep breath before she said
“When I catch up with you mate, you’re dead!”

She dusted her knees then up she got
Didn’t know whether to cry or not
Took a deep breath before she said
“When I catch up with you mate, you’re dead!”
Then grabbed her tissue and dried up her snot

One day at the mines Ed said to Fred

One day at the mines Ed said to Fred
Mary’s expecting - we’d better get wed

One day at the mines Ed said to Fred
Mary’s expecting - we’d better get wed
No need for that now Fred replied

One day at the mines Ed said to Fred
Mary’s expecting - we’d better get wed
No need for that now Fred replied
Cos Mavis told me that Mary had lied

One day at a the mines Ed said to Fred
Mary’s expecting-we’d better get wed
No need for that now Fred replied
Cos Mavis told me that Mary had died
Apparently so- she’s stone cold dead.

A funeral was quickly booked

A funeral was quickly booked
And a purvey for the mourners was cooked

A funeral was quickly booked
And a purvey for the mourners was cooked
Along with some booze

A funeral was quickly booked
And a purvey for the mourners was cooked
Along with some booze
And a touch of the blues

A funeral was quickly booked
And a purvey for the mourners was cooked
Along with some booze
And a touch of the blues
One final peek in the coffin was hooked

While reminiscing with his friend

While reminiscing with his friend
Arthur asked him what he’d spend

While reminiscing with his friend
Arthur asked him what he’d spend
On one last trip or cruise

While reminiscing with his friend
Arthur asked him what he’d spend
On one last trip or cruise
Or something else to amuse?

While reminiscing with his friend
Arthur asked him what he’d spend
On one last trip or cruise
Or something else to amuse?
The answer? A day trip to Southend!

Oh,boy-that Elsie’s favourite place!

Oh,boy-that Elsie’s favourite place!
That always puts a smile on her face

Oh boy that was Elsie’s favourite place
That always puts a smile on her face
She just loved Southend Rock

Oh boy that was Elsie’s favourite place
That always puts a smile on her face
She just loved Southend Rock
With a bottle of Hock

Oh boy that was Elsie’s favourite place
That always put a smile on her face
She just loved Southend Rock
With a bottle of Hock
And a big bag of chips and Plaice.