Limerick (Part 4)

My cat’s been asleep all day

My cat’s been asleep all day
She’s like that, if she gets her way

My cat’s been asleep all day
She’s like that, if she gets her way
Get the beast thrown out

My cat’s been asleep all day
She’s like that, if she gets her way
Get the beast thrown out
What’s that all about?

My cat’s been asleep all day
She’s like that, if she gets her way
Get the beast thrown out
What’s that all about?
I should make her work for her pay.

I was sitting there picking my nose

I was sitting there picking my nose
When my wife suddenly struck a pose

I was sitting there picking my nose
When my wife suddenly struck a pose
I thought ‘It’s Madonna’.

I was sitting there picking my nose
When my wife suddenly struck a pose
I thought ‘It’s Madonna’.
And I then left upon 'er

I was sitting there picking my nose
When my wife suddenly struck a pose
I thought ‘It’s Madonna’.
And I then left upon 'er
Some snot and a wilted red rose

How is it that meat is so dear?

How is it that meat is so dear?
Perhaps it is the killing we fear?

How is it that meat is so dear?
Perhaps it is the killing we fear?
We could grow some more veg

How is it that meat is so dear?
Perhaps it is the killing we fear?
We could grow some more veg
And eat fruit from the hedge

How is it that meat is so dear?
Perhaps it is the killing we fear
We could grow some more veg
And eat fruit from the hedge
Just don’t let the nettles get near!

Last month I got stung on the bum

Last month I got stung on the bum
My bottom never felt so numb!

Deleted reply…it posted twice!

Last month I got stung on the bum
My bottom never felt so numb!
It’s now twice as big

Last month I got stung on the bum
My bottom never felt so numb!
It’s now twice as big
It blew off me wig

Last month I got stung on the bum
My bottom never felt so numb!
It’s now twice as big
It blew off me wig
which left the onlookers struck dumb!

Soon be time to decorate my abode

Soon time to decorate my abode
Do mine! I just live down the road.