Limerick (Part 4)

Poor Lily was lonesome and sad
She had just split up from her lad
They could not agree

Poor Lily was lonesome and sad
She had just split up from her lad
They could not agree
They were Leo’s you see

Poor Lily was lonesome and sad
She had just split up with her lad
They could not agree
They were Leo’s you see
And he was an utter cad.

At the garden centre one morn

At the garden centre one morn
I thought, " I’ll go and buy a new lawn ".

At the garden centre one morn
I thought , "I’ll go and buy a new lawn ".
But none were for sale

At the garden centre one morn
I thought " I’ll go and buy a new lawn"
But none were for sale
Boy, did i moan and wail

At the garden centre one morn
I thought " I’ll go and buy a new lawn"
But none were for sale
Boy, did i moan and wail
The assistant looked at me with scorn

A little brown bird flew into a tree

A little brown bird flew into a tree
It wasn’t a ‘her’ and wasn’t a ‘he’

A little brown bird flew into a tree
It wasn’t a ‘her’ and wasn’t a ‘he’
A cross-gender sparrow do you think?

A little brown flew into a tree
It wasn’t a ‘her’ and wasn’t a ‘he’
A cross-gender sparrow do you think?
A cheeky bird, he gave me a wink

A little brown flew into a tree
It wasn’t a ‘her’ and wasn’t a ‘he’
A cross-gender sparrow do you think?
A cheeky bird, he gave me a wink
Before flying away to the sea.

Richard of York gave battle in vain

Richard of York gave battle in vain
Cos the poor little sod just couldn’t stand rain

Richard of York gave battle in vain
Cos the poor little sod just couldn’t stand rain
He’d lost his horse and his brolly too

Richard of York gave battle in vain
Cos the poor little sod just couldn’t stand rain
He’d lost his horse and his brolly too
All he could do was cry boo hoo.

Richard of York gave battle in vain
Cos the poor little sod just couldn’t stand rain
He’d lost his horse and his brolly too
All he could do was cry boo hoo.
As he cleared off back home on the train

A man was a pain in the neck

A man was a pain in the neck
He tried to keep women in check

A man was a pain in the neck
He tried to keep women in check
But was hopeless and so