Gertie agreed but realised the bed was too small
But, still she agreed and answered the call,
Dwarf poured Gertie a large G & T
Gertie agreed but realised the bed was too small
But still she agreed and answered the call,
Dwarf poured Gertie a large G & T
But then she found she needed a wee
Gertie agreed but realised the bed was too small
But still she agreed and answered the call,
Dwarf poured Gertie a large G & T
But then she found she needed a wee
And then in her drink he slipped Rohypnol
When she returned and sipped her gin
When she returned and sipped her gin
A right frisky mood old dwarf was in
When she returned and sipped her gin
A right frisky mood old dwarf was in
He had to stand on a chair
When she returned and sipped her gin
A right frisky mood old dwarf was in
He had to stand on a chair
To strip Gertie bare
When she returned and sipped her gin
A right frisky mood old dwarf was in
He had to stand on a chair
To strip Gertie bare
And his mind was so full of sin.
But suddenly there was a knock on the door
But suddenly there was a knock on the door
Which shook the dwarf to the core
But suddenly there was a knock on the door
Which shook the dwarf to the core
He called out “Who’s there”
But suddenly there was a knock on the door
Which shook the dwarf to the core
He called out “Who’s there?”
And then fell off his chair
But suddenly there was a knock on the door
Which shook the dwarf to the core
He called out “Who’s there?”
And then fell off his chair
But where dwarf left off, Gertie wanted more.
He opened the door and a policeman was there
He opened the door and a policeman was there
And there stood dwarf - all nude and bare
He opened the door and a policeman was there
And there stood dwarf - all nude and bare
“I have a warrant to search” he said
He opened the door and a policeman was there
And there stood dwarf - all nude and bare
“I have a warrant to search” he said
"For a woman called Gertie with hair of red
He opened the door and a policeman was there
And there stood dwarf - all nude and bare
“I have a warrant to search” he said
"For a woman called Gertie with hair of red
And gave dwarf a ferocious glare.
Dwarf grabbed a hankie to hide his bits 
Dwarf grabbed a hankie to hide his bits
And grabbed his shirt, the one that fits
Dwarf grabbed a hankie to hide his bits
And grabbed his shirt, the one that fits
Poor Gertie screamed,
but dwarf just beamed
Dwarf grabbed a hankie to hide his bits
And grabbed his shirt, the one that fits
Poor Gertie screamed,
but dwarf just beamed
As our Gertie executed the splits.
The officer was mightily impressed