They flagged down a passing car
And asked “Are you going far?”
“Only to the next town”
Said the man with a frown
“Can you give us a lift then to the nearest bar?”
So Gertie and the monk arrived in town
So Gertie and the monk arrived in town
Both wearing their best gown
So Gertie and the monk arrived in town
Both wearing their best gown
They booked into a hotel
So Gertie and the monk arrived in town
Both wearing their best gown
They booked into a hotel
But on the stairs the monk fell
So Gertie and the monk arrived in town
Both wearing their best gown
They booked into a hotel
But on the stairs the monk fell
And dragged poor Gertie down.
The manager sent for the Doc
The manager sent for the Doc
Who turned up wearing his frock
The manager sent for the Doc
Who turned up wearing his frock
“You’ve both broken bones”
The manager sent for the Doc
Who turned up wearing his frock
“You’ve both broken bones
I’ll send for nurse Jones”
The manager sent for the Doc
Who turned up wearing his frock
“You’ve both broken bones
I’ll send for nurse Jones”
As you may be suffering from shock.
The nurse turned up at dead of night
The nurse turned up at dead of night
And gave them both a terrible fright
The nurse turned up at dead of night
And gave them both a terrible fright
They were in so much pain
The nurse turned up at dead of night
And gave them both a terrible fright
They were in so much pain
The nurse gave them cocaine
The nurse turned up at dead of night
And gave them both a terrible fright
They were in so much pain
The nurse gave them cocaine
Gertie and the monk were as high as a kite.
When they came down they forgot their woes
When they came down they forgot their woes
Gertie leant over and carressed Monk’s toes
When they came down they forgot their woes
Gertie leant over and carressed Monk’s toes
Just like Fergie she gave them a suck
When they came down they forgot their woes
Gertie leant over and caressed Monk’s toes
Just like Fergie she gave them a suck
Monk thought that Gertie was pushing her luck
When they came down they forgot their woes
Gertie leant over and caressed Monk’s toes
Just like Fergie she gave them a suck
Monk thought that Gertie was pushing her luck
She was too hot to handle so off monk goes.
Gertie then found herself all alone
Gertie then found herself all alone
Not another gone she said with a groan
Gertie then found herself all alone
Not another gone she said with a groan
“Here am I with a broken leg”
Gertie then found herself all alone
Not another gone she said with a groan
“Here am I with a broken leg”
“Can’t someone help me or do I have to beg?”