One day Gertie & Percy did row
Percy called Gertie a silly old cow
Gertie hit Percy over the head
Poor old Percy ended up dead
And the cops are after her now
Gertie adopted a disguise
geritie adopted a disguise
Bought some padding to change her size
Gertie adopted a disguise
Bought some padding to change her size
Went from size ten to size tewnty two
Gertie adopted a disguise
Bought some padding to change her size
Went from size ten to twenty two
And changed her hair to blue
Gertie adopted a disguise
Bought some padding to change her size
Went from size ten to twenty two
And changed her hair to blue
She was prepared to tell a pack of lies.
For six months Gertie was on the run
For six months Gertie was on the run
In her disguise as a nun
For six months Gertie was on the run
In her disguise as a Nun
Till one day a Monk
#4848 For six months Gertie was on the run
In her disguise as a Nun
Till one day a Monk
Who was a bit of a hunk
For six months Gertie was on the run
In her disguise as a Nun
Till one day a Monk
Who was a bit of a hunk
Accosted her for a bit of fun.
Gertie was happy for some games to play
Gertie was happy for some games to play
But did not want to be led astray
Gertie was happy for some games to play
But did not want to be led astray
So she played hard to get
Gertie was happy for some games to play
But did not want to be led astray
So she played hard to get
And the monk’s appetite did whet
Gertie was happy for some games to play
But did not want to be led astray
So she played hard to get
And the monk’s appetite did whet
He treated her to some lingerie but didn’t pay.
The cops were now after Gertie and her man
The cops were now after Gertie and her man
But they made good their escape in a stolen van
The cops were now after Gertie and her man
But they made good their escape in a stolen van
Like Bonnie and Clyde they fled
The cops were now after Gertie and her man
But they made good their escape in a stolen van
Like Bonnie and Clyde they fled
And remained well ahead
The cops were now after Gertie and her man
But they made good their escape in a stolen van
Like Bonnie and Clyde they fled
And remained well ahead
Until the petrol ran out and they needed a can.
The flagged down a passing car
They flagged down a passing car
And asked “Are you going far?”
They flagged down a passing car
And asked “Are you going far?”
“Only to the next town”
Said the man with a frown