Mr wheelbarrow’s starting to squeak
So I gave the underside a quick peek
So out came the grease
The squeak to help cease
Mr wheelbarrow’s starting to squeak
So I gave the underside a quick peek
So out came the grease
The squeak to help cease
My reward was a peck on the cheek.
I bought a new fork and a hoe
I bought a new fork and a hoe
Primarily to impress my new beau
I bought a new fork and a hoe
Primarily to impress my new beau
He said can we talk
I bought a new fork and a hoe
Primarily to impress my new beau
He said can we talk
It’s about your new fork
I bought a new fork and a hoe
Primarily to impress my new beau
He said can we talk
It’s about your new fork
I’ve just stuck it into my toe
She said I will phone for a nurse
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
She won’t hurt you much
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
He said I feel ill
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
He said I feel ill
Of course you will
Okay you lot, carry on ! 
You must have missed my contribution Tezza. 
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
He said I feel ill
Of course you will
But it hopefully won’t get any worse.
In the meantime I will have to rest
Whoops sorry Gilly my fault, not paying attention.
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
He said I feel ill
Of course you will
But soon it will feel a lot worse.
Okay let’s all get this one right
She said I will phone for a nurse
Be brave and try not to curse
He said I feel ill
Of course you will
But it hopefully won’t get any worse.
In the meantime I will have to rest
In the meantime I will have to rest
Before I can give it my best
In the meantime I will have to rest
Before I can give it my best
There are seeds to sow
In the meantime I will have to rest
Before I can give it my best
There are seeds to sow
So you’ll need a hoe
In the meantime I will have to rest
Before I can give it my best
There are seeds to sow
So you’ll need a hoe
But don’t go outside in your vest
A packet of seeds that I found
A packet of seeds that I found
In the pound shop for a pound
A packet of seeds that I found
In the pound shop for a pound
So I said I’d have three