There once was a young lad from Poole
Who managed to get a 
tool ! 
There once was a young lad from Poole
Who managed to get a cool tool
He loved his new toy
There once was a young lad from Poole
Who managed to get a cool tool
He loved his new toy
The girls loved this cool boy
There once was a young lad from Poole
Who managed to get a cool tool
He loved his new toy
The girls loved this cool boy
He was always playing the fool.
This cool dude’s girlfriend told tales
This cool dude’s girlfriend told tales
Of how well she did in the sales
This cool dude’s girlfriend told tales
Of how well she did in the sales
How she loved a fair price
This cool dude’s girlfriend told tales
Of how well she did in the sales
How she loved a fair price
Liked bargains that were nice
This cool dude’s girlfriend told tales
Of how well she did in the sales
How she loved a fair price
Liked bargains that were nice
And wore them to attract all the males.
She confessed she had wandering eyes
She confessed she had wandering eyes
She was also known to tell little white lies
She confessed she had wandering eyes
She was also known to tell little white lies
But her cool dude soon caught on
She confessed she had wandering eyes
She was also known to tell little white lies
But her cool dude soon caught on
Made sure other lads were gone
She confessed she had wandering eyes
She was also known to tell little white lies
But her cool dude soon caught on
Made sure other lads were gone
Then dumped her for telling porky pies.
He then joined a dating site
He then joined a dating site
Some of his dates were a sight
He then joined a dating site
Some of his dates were a sight
Big Girls were on show
He then joined a dating site
Some of his dates were a sight
Big Girls were on show
Up top and below
He then joined a dating site
Some of his dates were a sight
Big girls were on show
Up top and below
And gave him a dreadful fright.
I once knew a Gipsy called Ted
I once knew a Gipsy called Ted
Who was very easily led
I once knew a Gipsy called Ted
Who was very easily led
He had an old nag
I once knew a Gipsy called Ted
Who was very easily led
He had an old nag
And for a wife, an old bag
I once knew a Gipsy called Ted
Who was very easily led
He had an old nag
And for a wife, an old bag
So it was the nag not the bag he took to bed
If all the fishes in the sea were men