Sat here in my dressing gown
That’s a bit weird for the town?
No place to go
Is that your tale of woe?
It’s cos the rain is bucketing down.
It’s time to take the dog out
It’s time to take the dog out
Overdue? Without a doubt.
It’s time to take the dog out
Overdue? Without a doubt
I’ll whistle as he pees
It’s time to take the dog out
Overdue? Without a doubt
I’ll whistle as he pees
Up half a dozen trees
It’s time to take the dog out
Overdue? Without a doubt
I’ll whistle as he pees
Up half a dozen trees
And ignore it when the neighbours shout.
It’s time to take the dog out
Overdue? Without a doubt
I’ll whistle as he pees
Up half a dozen tree
To the point when he is peeing nowt
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
Oops. too late EZ
Cough!
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
So pretty but still very hard
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
Smokes like a chimney out in the yard
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
So pretty, but still very hard
She serves with a grin
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
So pretty but still very hard
Arms like hammers
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
So pretty but still very hard
Arms like hammers
And looks great in pyjamas
The barmaid at the Swan is a card
So pretty but still very hard
Arms like hammers
And looks great in pyjamas
A pity she’s a big tub of lard
Time for a nightcap methinks
Time for a nightcap methinks
And change your sox cos they stinks 
Time for a nightcap methinks
And change your sox cos they stinks
Put on your night cap
Time for a nightcap methinks
And change your sox cos they stinks
Put on your night cap
And lock the cat flap
Time for a nightcap methinks
And change your sox cos they stinks
Put on your night cap
And lock the cat flap
Its now time for my fortywinks
As she poured her last cup of tea